I recently made the decision to step down from my position as team treasurer.
It’s not that I was overwhelmed or I thought it was out of my league. I was fine with the position, and would gladly continue if I was asked back.
I just had the thought and I knew it was right. I thought and prayed (albeit, only a little) about it for about a week, and told my team about it. The next day, I called one of my squad leaders and told her. She told me to spend more time praying about it, and figure out why I thought it was right. So, that day I spent the time praying and listening to God.
And I realized I have a lot of growing to do.
These past few weeks, my team has done a lot of listening prayer and feedback for each other. I had received a few things that all came together that day.
- “Be courageous, the Father stands behind you.”
- That I have a lot of gifting’s, but that I am not using them.
- “You will flourish if you let the Lord move.”
- “Start living in the gifts the Lord has given you.”
- That I should step into the hard things.
- “Start fighting for what you desire.”
- I have a lot of gifting’s in storage that are just collecting dust that I don’t know about.
- “Don’t put limits on what you can do, because that limits God.”
- “He’s got (great) things waiting for you.”
- “The unknown can be good for you.”
- I’m on the edge of a cliff and I won’t jump to the other side. So, God closes that gap to just a mere crack, but I still won’t cross it.
I recognized that a lot of them have to do with the gifts that God has given me. So, I looked into some of the verses I have on my spiritual/redemptive gifts. I started with the gift of Discernment.
- 1 Corinthians 12:10 talks about the maturity that comes with the constant use of discernment.
- Acts 5:3-6 tells the story of Ananias and Sapphira, and how they tried to keep money for themselves instead of giving it all to the temple. And when they both lied to Peter, he called them out and they both fell and died.
- Acts 16:16-18 tells of how a slave woman, who was possessed, followed Peter and was proclaiming that he was a follower of Jesus. And Peter called the demon out of her (because he recognized that it was evil).
- In 1 John 4:1, they say to test the spirits, because not all of them are from God. There are many evil spirits in the world.
From there, I went to the gift of Faith.
- Matthew 17:20 says that we can move mountains as long as we have the faith of a mustard seed.
- In Matthew 21:21, it says we will receive what we ask for in prayer.
- In Acts 3:1-10, it tells of Peter and John and how they were walking past the Beautiful gate and saw a lame beggar. Peter commanded, in the name of Jesus, that he get up and walk. So, the man did.
And lastly, I went to my gift of Teaching.
- In 1 Timothy, Peter writes a letter saying, if he is late in coming, this is how we should conduct ourselves. To be the pillar and foundation of the truth.
- 1 James warns that not many of us should be teachers, because everything that comes out of our mouths is strictly scrutinized. It says, if we put a bit in a horse’s mouth to make it obey, we can control the entire horse. Like a ship, which is huge and sails on the winds, but is controlled by a small rudder that is controlled by the captain as he chooses. That our tongues/words have that power. To build up or tear down.
- Romans 12:7 says that if your gift is teaching, then teach according to your faith.
- Ephesians 4:11 says that God gave teachers, so that the church would be built up in truth.
All in all, they all fit together and complement each other. One thing that has been stopping me from really stepping into learning and growing in them is that I am too scared. I won’t step over the crack, because I am afraid of what is on the other end. I have faith and I know God is on the other end, but I am afraid to move from my spot. I am afraid of the unknown. I am afraid to take out those gifting’s that are in storage. I am afraid to start living in what God has given me.
I see where I have used my gifts in the past and the effects they have had on my life. But, I’ve hardly ever knowingly used them. I realized that don’t really know how to. I’ve never exercised my giftings before and that is another reason why I have hesitated in growing them. Simply because I don’t know how to and I don’t know where to start.
And I knew this next chapter would be a time for me to step out over that crack. Stepping into the unknown of what the Lord has for me. Overcoming my fears. And fulling embracing my gifts, and everything they entail. Being the student and stepping away from official responsibilities for a while. So that I may be undistracted in every way.
This is was not easy to hear, and I know it’ll be difficult. But, I think I am ready.
So, let the future begin
