People tell me every year that birthdays get less exciting as you get older. I typically love birthdays, so I started to mentally and emotionally prepare myself for the supposed downhill ride to 30 and beyond. However, over the last several years I have found quite the opposite to be true. I spent birthday number 26 at a Bethel concert thanking the Lord for all that He had done in my 25th year and for the crazy adventure that I would be embarking on in the 26th. I remember trying to imagine what that year would be like. I had expectations of how I would feel at all of these different landmarks throughout that year. I thought I knew how it would feel to leave my job and my kids at the church. I thought I knew how it would feel to meet my sQuad and prepare for the race at training camp. (If you read that blog, you know that I should have shut down my expectations then…) I thought I knew how it would feel to pack a year in a backpack. I thought I knew how it would feel to say goodbye to my friends and family. I thought I knew what fundraising and asking trusting completely in God’s provision would be like. I thought I knew how it would feel to get off of a plane and be in India, or Nepal, or Africa. I thought I knew how God would move and how He would use me this year.
This morning I woke up to birthday number 27 on a mountaintop in Swaziland, and I have been spending a lot of time reflecting on this past year and this idea of expectations. On rare occasion, my expectations were fairly accurate. For example, I expected packing a year into a backpack to be total chaos. It was total chaos. But in most ways, my expectations for year 26 have been shattered. Saying goodbye wasn’t nearly as difficult as I assumed it would be, thanks to the incredible support of my community and the peace of being in the place that God has me. My sQuad is so much more than I could have hoped for. It is such an adventurous, Jesus-loving, sharpening community to be a part of. Fundraising has truthfully been much more challenging and stretching than I anticipated. Getting off the plane in each new country has been filled with so many new experiences that I never could have dreamt up. God has moved in ways that I never saw coming and put me in places of ministry that I felt entirely incapable of being in.
I am so glad that my expectations do not define my experiences. As I look forward to year 27, I have only one expectation – that God’s plans for this year are bigger, better, and more fulfilling than anything I could dream up. I can’t wait to look back a year from now and rejoice in ways that I have been stretched, the relationships that have grown deeper, and the nearness to Christ that is ever-growing.
To see what we are up to this month, check out the website of the orphanage that we are serving with here in Swaziland! www.elshaddaiswazi.org
