For the past two weeks, I have not been able to get my support account out of my head. I constantly worry about how it is going to come. I’ve been freaking out that it hasn’t changed since launch. I didn’t think I put my faith in a box but I’ve been trying to do just that these past weeks. As I have always said, God will provide the needs if it is His will. I wrote a support letter and sent it out on November 5th with little response. I became overwhelmed during my Jesus time one morning in Transintria. One of my teammates is in the same boat and seems to have much more confidence in God than I do. My team prayed over us that morning but that didn’t really help. I tried reading Psalm during travel day to give me peace so that hopefully I would have more confidence. I feel like that made it worse and what made it suck more was that I couldn’t fall asleep on any of the three flights.
We have nightly family worship time with our team and the family that we are living with who is also our contact. Our contact’s name is Megh and we love him. We also love his whole family. I will write another blog about them. I kept feeling like God was whispering surrender over and over while we were singing. I fought it a little bit for no reason at all. So I did that international sign for surrender which is raise both hands with your palms facing forward. I prayed that I surrender just my support account then I started listing things like my time, my team, team changes, doubt of faith, etc. I slowly felt peace then it led to joy.
This morning, Saturday, we had church service and at one point, Megh asked us if one of us wanted to help with the children. I immediately said yes without thinking what that meant. It ended up meaning teaching a song and sharing testimony. Since I really bad about remembering full songs with anyone’s help, they sang songs they knew in both English and Nepalese. I struggled through sharing my testimony but I couldn’t help but smile the whole time while I was in there. I always forget how much I love children til I get surrounded by them.
I asked God for a word for the month…well, I got a phase. “Surrender your doubts and fears.” Didn’t realize that till the day after praying the surrender prayer. Our team has declared that our prayers are going to powerful this month. So PLEASE pray for our confidence to pray bold prayers. Pray that we will stay in the here and now because team changes happen at the end of this month. Pray that our team with unified and strengthened through that.
