What does living in a community of family look like? What does intimate moments look like? What habits are unhealthy? My view is like a muddy lake that I don't know what is living or dead but I choose to go swimming anyway. I have let past experiences mold my view when God should have been holding the chisel. I was in the middle of the lake convincing myself that I was content with this life. With not taking the time to connect with my family. Avoiding their questions and only giving one words answers. I am now trying to trudge my way back to the shore so that I can walk under the waterfall of mercy that will wash me free from the lies I let Satan feed me. I let those lies eat away at me that it got to the point where there lies defined who I was. I am in the process of disinfecting the posionious things that have taken life in me.
it's been hard hearing about everyone else's wonderful family life and how close they were to their siblings or cousins. Or even friends. I have always shared surface things with people. I dug a grave and buried the deep stuff. I don't like digging up old issues but I have come to realize that they aren't really old. They are issues that I let become part of my idendity. The way God speaks truth through my team has been astonishing. Truth resonated through my squad leaders after just a day of being around us.
Tonight during team time, we prayed for Angel who had a really bad toothache. She has been feeling pain for a couple of days now. Carly asked later if she[Angel] believed if God would heal her by us praying. She responding by saying "I want to believe." Angel explained that her idea of seeing God healing would be some kind of action. She talked about the palazed man in the bible where God asked him to get up, take his mat, and walk. Angel mentioned that the man had to have to faith that he was healed before getting up. We all responded that we felt the same way. Kelsey then wrote "I believe" on our hands which I loved. We prayed one last time and Angel told us that God told her 'not tonight' but she had peace about it.
Madison, Perissuo girl, has been bringing up the point that maybe all our sickness is from spiritual warfare. Reason being that the illnesses that we each have been experiencing has been something that we don't normally experience. At least not this often, this way, or this long. Spiritual warfare would not be the first thing I would think about when illness springs up in a group. There is so much darkness in this county. The main thing is witchcraft.
I am sorry that this blog is more on my spiritual walk and not on what we have been doing here in Romania. Let me know what kind of things you want to know. Ask me questions. I have been struggling with figuring out what things to post about.
