tears, I left what was once my whole life behind. I left my family, my home, my secure career,
my possessions, everything that made me who I was. And now I have left my own country
behind. My own homeland, my rights, my
security, my covering. I have chosen to
step out of the “American dream” today, while some other soul in this
world is wishing, striving, praying, fighting to come into the “American
dream”. I have chosen to shrink my
whole life down to a backpack.
While I claim to
have no rights, I can’t help but ponder the well known phrase “What in the
world are you doing!!!” I feel as
though I should have the right to flounder in all these mixed emotions. To say yes, it’s okay to be excited and
nervous. To be faithful and
fearful. Because God has called me out
and the only direction that I hear from Him is “go to the land that I will
show you”. I want to know answers,
directions, reasons… you know, the usual ‘how/what/when/who/where. But nothing but just ‘go’. So now I’m here. I have chosen to obey Him. Without any understanding and a lot of
wonder, I chose to obey. I am no one
special. I have no major quality,
ability, or status that has qualified me to be doing this. I only have one thing and it’s not unique or
special. It’s the same thing that
everyone has. And that is the ability to
listen and obey God voice. That’s all. And I am baffled by that. I hear two voices in my head. One that says ‘theres no way that I can do
this and I would be crazy to even try’ and the other one that says ‘I have
asked you to do this and I have qualified you to do this’. And I choose to listen and go.
I feel as though I have been given a bigger coat by God for me to grow into. That the coat I had on was no longer my size
and that I have grown out of it. I see
God saying that it’s a new year, I have grown, and I need a bigger coat. And He has not given me one that fits me
perfectly. No, He has a plan. He has given me a coat that is larger then I. He is anticipating my growth once again for
these next 11 months. How faithful is
God, that He doesn’t leave us stagnant and stationary but He takes us from
glory to glory (or as some say, gory to glory)
to see all that the Lord has in store for His people and I am faithful to walk
in His guidance; not moving without Him.
