I was recently asked why it took me nearly two years of knowing I was supposed to go on the World Race to actually submit my application. Easy answer; disobedience.
Now folks, I’m not saying this lightly. Gosh, I wish I would have jumped on that call right when I heard it. I knew, deep down in my heart that I was supposed to be going, but yet, I remained disobedient, finding every reason in the world not to go.
I needed to pay off debt. I wasn’t cut out for this line of work. My health hasn’t shown favor to me in the past. Blah blah blah.
I came up with every excuse in the book not to go.
Because of that, hardships hit. Extreme hardships. A season in my life I have zero desire to go back to. But a time that brought me so close to God that I wouldn’t want to change a thing.
I don’t think it was God’s anger against me for my disobedience, but rather Him allowing circumstances to happen so that I’d wake up, and resurface from my selfishness.
Through those hardships I saw that my plan for my life wasn’t working out. I suffered because I was in the wrong place at the wrong time. Had I been 2000 miles away from there, in a place God had called me to go, those difficulites wouldn’t have happened.
Now God, being the ever so patient Father that He is, was gracious to me and showed me mercy. I remember praying to God to give me a do-over. I’ll remember telling him that I’ll do anything. Then the light bulb in my head turned on and I remember saying to him, “Okay, I’ll go.” And I remember the peace that flooded over me as I uttered those words.
The peace came from experiencing that God’s plan was much better then my own. It came from whole-heartedly submitting myself to what God so long ago called me to do.
I went all in, fearful in the sense that what I was doing was different than what I’ve known, but understanding that because God called me to it, He was beginning to write a beautiful story.
It’s just about 5 months until launch, and I find no greater peace than living out God’s will for my life.
