Here I am at launch.
I came in with a lot of excitement and anxiousness about what this year would hold. I had no idea what the launch experience would be like, but I felt as if I was ready for anything that could possibly happen to me. I made it through training camp and nothing could be as trying as that week was for me. I thought I had learned that expectations on The World Race almost always get shattered. And I thought I had arrived In DC without expectations that would hold me back. However, I learned very quickly that there were underlying expectations buried deep in my mind.
I had the expectation that I would join my teammates and we would tackle this journey together. I had the expectation that I would be in a room with my team, or at the very least someone from my squad. I had the expectation that launch would be a relaxing final send-off for my race. I knew it would be emotional, but I was not prepared for the reality of it.
This is what launch has really been like:
Upon arriving at our hotel, I found my room and settled in. There was only one other bag in the room, but no one was there. I found fellow squad members and quickly felt the excitement arise that I had been longing for. It was great to see everyone again and I had blissful feelings that everything was falling into place. Shortly after, I was reunited with my team. We were so thrilled to see each other, but we were then delivered the bad news that our team was being dismantled and that we would all join other existing teams. I was caught off guard and did not know how to handle the change. I knew I loved my whole squad, I would be great on any team, but this was MY team and we had it all planned out. If that wasn't taxing enough, I then found that I had no fellow squad members in my room. I felt alone and scared. Then I saw my parents, and I just lost it. I wanted to cling to them for as long as I possibly could. Then I found out that we were supposed to fast from all screens, i.e.. Phones, computers, movies, etc. So I am on a new team, I don't have anyone I know in my room, and now I find that I can't even have contact with those who give me comfort. At that point, I honestly wanted to go home. I was ready to call it quits on the whole operation. I wasn't sure if God knew what he was doing, to be quite honest. But I tried to hang in there.
Amazingly, things soon began to change for me. God has a way of bringing us peace when we least expect it. The World Race has already wrecked my world, and it hasn't even been two days. God is already working to bring about growth. I am already seeing that I am on a team that will support me and help me reach my full potential not only on this race, but also in my growth with The Lord. The girls in my hotel room are great women of God and they have done nothing but encourage me, even though I just met them 24 hours ago. I said farewell to my parents, and I miss them terribly already. It is just a lot to handle. At the same time, God is with me, and I know that I am going to learn to rely on Him more during this year. I will still have my family when I get home, and I will still have my friends. I am not losing anyone. But I am learning to trust God and live in the moment he has given me. I feel in my spirit that my race is going to change the way I experience God and my relationships with others. I know that this growth is necessary, but I am also discovering that all growth requires pain…
But its worth it. It always is.
