There is something inherently awkward and hard about speaking in front of people. After taking a public speaking class for 2 years in high school, much of the pure panic is gone, but there are still those lingering emotions. When I am about to start speaking, my stomach gets a little tight, my hands get a little sweaty, my mouth goes dry, and my heart rate quickens with the adrenaline that comes with public speaking.
Over the past two weeks, I have gone through these emotions time and time again. Working in pairs, our team has gone into over 20 classrooms across the city and shared the Gospel with students. The students are usually high schoolers and middle schoolers with a few classes of elementary school students mixed in. The classrooms are filled with just a handful of students to 80 students, depending on the school. We introduce ourselves, sing a song if the children are young enough, share our testimonies, and then allow them to ask questions about anything. We get silly questions like whether we are single but also serious questions about why we choose to love Jesus. Many children are riveted, and many have been saved as we have presented the Gospel
My team and I came to the conclusion that the first step into the classroom is the hardest part of the whole thing. Something about the initial plunge of going in is hard. I can equate it to jumping into a cold pool. You know it is going to take the breath out of you when you hit the water, and your stomach gets tight right before you do it. Personally, my heart starts to race and I have to talk myself into it. You know it will be nice once you are in, and even enjoyable, but making that first plunge into the cold water is honestly pretty awful.
Walking into the classrooms is much the same. Even after going into 20-plus classrooms, it is still hard. It has become slightly easier because I know how much fun it is once we get in there, but I still have to steel myself to take that first step. Sometimes I have to get not a running but a fast walking start. (I am sure I look ridiculous backing up from the door a few steps and then somewhat throwing myself through the door at a fast walk/jump, but whatever works, right? The students like it!)
Sharing our testimonies and being on all day is hard, but there is something so rewarding when we walk out and are doing it. It honestly is really fun once we start. Once we step up and they are all laughing and having fun, it is worth the pain of that first step. It is also worth it when some kids raise their hands to say that they want to know more about Jesus. We are doing what the Lord asked us to do by sharing the Gospel, and there is a sense of joy and peace that comes with that even when we don’t see fruit.
I feel like this is how a lot of my life has been and how a lot of choices to come will be. When I decided my major in college, when I decided to go on the Race, when I decide to learn something new – really once I decide to do anything the Lord has for me – it is a hard first step, but once that step has been made, it turns out to be amazing! There is peace, joy, growth, and usually fun when I have made the right choice. There may be apprehension over the consequences or what it will be like, but it turns out to be more than worth it. I am starting to welcome that adrenaline and tight stomach feeling that comes with walking into classrooms but also doing things that are hard because I know it means that there will usually be something worth having on the other side of that feeling. Sharing the Gospel with students is something worth having. Going on the Race is something worth having. Starting that conversation with the person next to me is something worth having. When I finally get past that hard first step, the world seems to open a little more. And my life changes for the better.
Eleanor Roosevelt said, “Do one thing every day that scares you.” I would say first steps qualify for me. I want to make these first steps something that is normal for me and even an every day occurrence in my life. I want the world to open and to be able to see what the Lord has for me, so I will take these first steps. I will take that plunge for the joy, understanding, and growth that comes after I am in.
In Christ, Elise
