“We are in freaking Africa!” I sat up after watching a movie late one night this past week and said this with force and some frustration to Megan (one of my teammates) who was sitting beside me. We had decided to watch a movie because our host had the TV on outside of our room and it was too loud to sleep through.
The source of my frustration is that the Race and Africa feel normal. Watching a movie feels normal. Eating weird food and talking to strangers feels normal. Regular things being a little more challenging has started to not feel like a challenge. Everything is starting to feel like regular life.
Yes, I am in Africa living with people I met 6 month or a few days ago. Yes, I am living a life that is on mission and telling people about the Gospel every day, but it feels so normal. There isn’t the thrill anymore on the day-to-day basis. Even the transition to new places is not as stressful or crazy as it was. It is still exciting at times, but in general, everything is pretty normal.
This lack of craziness and good stress is confusing to me. I am experiencing new things every day. Goodness, I did not bat an eye when I saw a family of warthogs walking down the road just the other day and later went to a church that had a pastor who used a whistle as part of his worship. I don’t like it because I can feel that my awareness and push for growth is shutting down and becoming harder. I am not soaking in every minute anymore. I want growth and want to perceive what is happening and what God is doing.
It’s amazing how fast this has happened. I have started to pray that God will continue to open my eyes to what He is doing and what growth I should be seeking. I have started to view this slip into normalcy and gliding as a challenge to not do so. It is now a fight to not slip into normalcy.
God has also brought to mind the fact that the Race is a great place to build the habits of an active relationship with Him that I’ll need when I get back to The States. Learning how to rely on Him when everything seems normal and not scary is one of the hardest and greatest feats that I will probably learn on the Race. I want to learn now so that I can combat it well when I get home.
I am fighting it first with prayer that God will keep me alert and close to Him. Second, I have told my team about it and asked them to hold me accountable to making growth. Third, I have made it a point to have prayer and Bible study every day.
I know these are all good things, but I also know that they are not the whole picture and that I shouldn’t become legalistic about keeping them. As my surrounding and myself change, these will change because my need will change. It will be a growing process. These things are a start, though. As I am writing, a video outside of my door said: “attitudes become actions, actions become habits which become what you are.” I would say this is true. I have had these attitudes that are now starting to become actions, and they will become habits that will change how I relate to God and the world.
These habits will be something that I can develop here on the Race but also in the States. It is a process that I’ll be continuing once I get home. I also want to share it with people so they can learn from what I am learning. What good is it to learn something and have it change your life but then sit on it? Let’s move forward and seek a lack of normalness. Seek an awareness of who God is bringing light to new things.
Blessings,
Elise
