I really am so sick of being sick.
If you saw my latest blog, you read that my body shut down on me after my hike two weeks ago. Well, almost two weeks later and I am STILL sick. I am much better now since I’m on antibiotics (thanks to my teammate/ mom, Caitlyn) but am struggling with my congestion and cough. Before getting on antibiotics, I was bed ridden of and on for about a week. Somedays I was fine, but most days I was laying around barely able to do work because I was so weak. I don’t like being negative, but it kind of sort of sometimes sucked.
I started to get down on myself, believing the lies that I wasn’t living righteously because of how I was feeling. Believing that I was being selfish for missing ministry. Lies, lies, lies!! I desired to be out with my team helping others in the village, I desired to be off my butt and in God’s presence. Guess what I realized? It’s something so simple and something I have known for years, that you can be in the presence of God no matter where you are or what you’re doing!
Thursday, when I was feeling my worst, I read through some Bible verses I had saved in my notes on my phone. I needed a good pick-me-up after my nap. I was longing for my mom, not to be home, but to be taken care of. I knew that the only way I’d feel better was if I leaned on the Lord (and on medication). I read some encouraging verses to change my perspective on the situation I was in, when I came across a note I had saved from my best friend, Faith-Anne. This note was from April 9th. I remember receiving the text from her, on a day during my World Race application process when I was so curious about the meaning of righteousness. She said, “Righteousness means acting the way that God acts. We don’t always live righteously, but we have the ability to learn how to do that. Through and by His spirit, Christ enables us to take on His life more so than before He died for us, because now we have His constant presence with us” isn’t she wise? This was exactly what I needed to read in that moment. I was stuck in my own mind, searching for His presence and righteousness, not searching for His spirit within me. This opened my mind and my heart, and I FINALLY understood what her text from back in April had meant. At the time when she sent this to me, I didn’t fully grasp it, but now I have!
Faith-Anne, even from miles and oceans and countries away, you are still teaching me so much. God is using you a lot in my life here in Africa, whether its through dreams or little notes that I’ve saved. Like… what? Of all times, of all places, of all people?!?! It’s CRAAAZYYY. He is SO good to us!! I miss you so much, gooney girl. ily 😉
Also, you should all know I am doing a lot better! My energy is back up and I am back to being an optimist! I’m looking forward to going back to ministry tomorrow and enjoying my last week here in Malealea Village, Lesotho. I cant believe my time here is coming to end, I don’t even want to think about it because I’m already getting sad. This is such a wonderful place.
Thank you all for reading, I hope that life is treating you right! I am still about $1,500 away from being fully funded. I must be fully funded by December in order to stay on the field, so please spread the word and hopefully some of you will consider donating! Pretty please. Thank you!! xoxoxo.
