Hi, friends!!
I officially accepted my acceptance to the World Race Gap Year on Friday, April 7th, and ever since then I have been feeling ALL of the emotions, and I really mean all of them. Excitement turned into anxiety which turned into fear. The fear turned to joy which has now settled to a mindset of peace. Writing this, I feel calm and content. Though slightly eager, I have finally have peace about the race and fundraising!
Allow me to explain this roller coaster of emotions- The excitement followed by anxiety was from my official decision to do the WRGY. I was so thrilled that this was actually happening, so once I got done telling everyone I realized that all the people I had just broke the news to would be the people I’ll miss most during the 9 months that I will be gone. This realization of not seeing my closest friends and family for that long duration of time made me very anxious, which then turned into a fear of leaving everyone and everything behind, a fear of getting homesick, and a fear of oblivion. I cant avoid the unknown, so ultimately I have let go of being afraid. Letting go of my fears and giving them to God turned my hesitations into joy. I was soon feeling giddy and cheerful thinking about the race and all that is in store! After going through all of these emotions, my mind became calm and I now feel a peace that only God could provide. I am at peace because I am aware of what my life will soon be like, and because I know that this is what God has called me to do. He has been preparing my heart for this for awhile and I didn’t even realize it until now.
As the reality of the race starts to register with me, there is one Bible verse I have really been meditating on- Proverbs 16:9 “In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps”. This verse constantly reminds that no matter where I am, no matter what I choose to do, God is guiding me. Oh, and when I say meditating, I mean it literally. Meditation is something you hear and most likely think is just sitting in silence with no thoughts, but for me it means sitting in the presence of Jesus WITH my thoughts. It has been so important for me to take every thought I have about this journey captive and just reflect and pray over them all. This has allowed me to understand my feelings and to process the change that is about to take place, though it has not sunk in yet. It hasn’t sunk in that in two weeks I will be leaving College, in less than 3 months I’ll be going to the World Race training camp and 5 months until I leave the country for 9 months. So many countdowns, so much to process, but I know I’m not in this alone.
God is a provider. He is present in my sufferings, silences my anxieties, comforts me when I’m filled with fear. God has established my steps!
Also! Fundraising update: I am about to start selling jewelry within the next two weeks! Everything from tassel earrings to chokers! Be on the look out. Also, if you have any questions or comments about the race, feel free to contact me! Until then please continue praying and consider donating! You can click the orange “DONATE” button at the top of this page to direct you. THANK YOU!!
-Elisabeth (Lissie) Butler
