The hardest part of the race for me, apart from the ginormous bugs, weird illnesses, bucket showers and sleeping on the floor, is the goodbyes.
It sounds so glamorous. We go to 11 countries in 11 months. At first, I imagined us jet setting from country to country, kissing babies, playing with giraffes, salsa dancing, eating exotic foods and having a cool Instagram account… you know, the basic stuff.
Don’t get me wrong, I also imagined doing some impactful ministry, but it was all rainbows and fairy dust in my mind.
Now that I’m in month 6 of my race (I don’t know how that’s possible) I have had my heart ripped out about 7 times, and let me tell you, it sucks.
I love doing ministry and I love this journey. I also love people and have been so blessed to meet family all around the world. But wow, is it harder than Instagram made it seem.
Every month, we walk into a community. We meet kids and grandparents and we dance and laugh and share our testimonies. We create deep, lasting, real relationships… and then we leave. We pack up and go to the next country and I, inevitably, cry my eyes out.
In India, I met a man named Ringlawm and a little boy named Jeremy who taught me about faithful love.
In Nepal, I met the sweetest little kiddos in a village in the Himalayas.
In Vietnam, I discipled a sweet friend named An.
In Cambodia, I absolutely fell head over heals with the kids and the staff and the community.
In Botswana, I met some parents away from home.
Every relationship was so beautiful and every goodbye was very painful.
It’s a different kind of goodbye when you know you may never see that person on earth again, yet you love them so much.
So why do it? Why create relationships and invest in people? Why care?
To be honest, the only answer I can give is because God asked me to.
Life would be a lot easier if I was in America fostering my relationships with family and friends. But, that’s not where God asked me to be in this moment.
He asked me to leave all the relationships I had developed for 22 years and to venture out with a backpack and a tent with 55 people I didn’t know. To pour out His love on more people I had no idea existed in places I could have never imagined.
The only way I can do it is with His joy and peace in my heart. Yes, I can keep in touch with An and Ringlawm on facebook and maybe even see them again, but I know that one day I will meet them in heaven and we will rejoice in all the prayers we made for each other.
The race isn’t a glamorous Instagram feed. There’s a lot of undocumented tears, hard circumstances and painful goodbyes.
The reason I do it is because I have decided that the pain is worth God’s glory.
It’s worth all the lessons my new friends have taught me and all the joy we were able to bring each other, even for only a month.
I just know it will be worth the joyful reunion in heaven.
