DANG. It’s been a minute. Sorry for not writing sooner, I hope this big ‘ol blog will make up for some lost time. With that said.
Let me tell you something about sleep.
I love it. I do. It’s a beautiful thing, a place of escape. Or rest. Or renewal. Or, even all three. But let me tell you another thing:
I honestly wish that I didn’t need it.
Sounds weird! I know! My thoughts (despite what you may think) freak me out sometimes, too. Though, before you hop off this blog ’cause you might think that’s a ridiculous thought, I’m asking you to hold on a sec. I’m going to tie it into something that I’ve been learning a lot about.
I wish that the human brain didn’t need sleep because if it didn’t, then I would have a legendary amount of time to do other things. I would have time to satisfy the feeling of restlessness, which is steadfast in it’s urging of me to pack up my bags and head out. To just get up and leave and get to a new place, no one has ever been to before. It would give me time to experience life in its full glory; it’s brokenness & pain combined with its joy and dancing. But the more I thought about it, the deeper my realization became that even if I had more time, I wouldn’t embody the gift of restlessness that manifests itself within me. I understood there was the possibility that I would waste just as much time as I did when sleep is needed. This realization kinda convicted me… It straight-up called me out and was ready to punch me right in the honker to set my head on right.
And what a time to be quarantined to my own thoughts; to be forced to brew in the conviction I have so lovingly been given.
So maturing off that thought, I identified the fact that I hate wasting time. Usually, I’ve always got something happening, because my heart desires to fulfill every minute available during this life I’m living. It could look like exploring, it could look like work, it could look like reading, perhaps. Although, what I’ve found is the reality that I am perfectly IMperfect despite this desire. The number 1 reason that I waste time is due to my possession of a very horrible talent; my ability to come up with excuses. Excuses that lead me to put off investing in people’s lives, to put off reading, to put off spending time by myself, to put off spending time with others, even (if you can imagine) to put off writing another blog. Maybe I saw sleep as an excuse. But more often than not, I found my excuse to be “I’ll do it in a bit”. Because what was important became shadowed by less important things I held in a higher priority. And we both know that the “bit” can soon turn into hours. Days. Maybe a “bit” even turns into ten years.
And as a result, I found myself filled with regret & self-hate because I pushed away calling & desire, and was soon overcome by unconscious conformity to the mundane.
Here, I’m going to ask you to hear me out. I don’t want you to be filled with regret, especially on the grounds in which you didn’t do what you’ve felt called to do. I want you to listen. And then, you can maybe try and do whatever comes to mind when these words drift to your beautiful brain.
So. Here it goes.
Each rotation of this beautiful earth we live on takes 24 hours. So that means (if you want to do the math with me) one hour makes up 4.16666667 percent of each day. Four percent! That’s without sleeping. On average, the National Sleep Foundation suggests that teens (14-17) should get 8-10 hours of sleep, young adults (18-25) should get 7-9 hours, and everyone else should get a little over 7. So if we account that into the percentage we calculated earlier (say we insert 8 hours of sleep as the suggested average), one hour turns into about 6.25 percent of our day. That freaks me out. Because that means if I were to spend one hour a day spending time with my Maker, then I’m not even giving him 10% percent of my overall existence each time the earth rotates.
I don’t know if it’s the same for you, but because of the global pandemic which we all know as coronavirus, my school shut down until April 3rd. I have SO much time. Because usually, in addition to sleep, I have the privilege to go to school for 7 hours a day (when it’s in session, obviously) which takes up another bit of my overall percentage. Through the past couple of days off, I’ve observed that we have the freedom to do 2 things when we come face to face with more time than we know what to do with:
1. We can just sit and be and waste time doing things that are far less riveting than what we could be doing. Or,
2. We can get off our donkeys and go pursue the life we’ve been given. We can love people with all our might (without touching them). We can go fill our minds with the written experience of others so generously documented. We can sit down and root ourselves in the things we care about. We can discover passions, and hatred, and discomfort, and flaws. We can spend intentional time with our Creator. We can invest in the Word, and devote so much time to it that it’s even INCONVENIENT.
I want to call you out. I want you to use your time wisely. To fulfill it as best as you can. And trust me, I waste plenty of time, even though I’m the one writing this blog. Don’t you dare think that I’m any better at this than you are. Oh, and the way you fulfill your time is gonna look far different from the way I fulfill mine. And that’s only because we’re different.
But trust me on this one. I can even come to a hair less than promising that if you figure out what makes you remember that you’re alive, you might find yourself more connected. Satisfied, even. But what I can promise is that binge-watching shows won’t do any of those things (though providing a mega-sense of achievement, especially when you finish a season in one day :O).
I’m learning how to steward my time well. I’m beginning to learn about what makes me tick. I’m beginning to realize my calling to the purpose we all share. It’s a hard journey. Crying has happened. Laughing has occurred. But I’m learning, and I’m giving it all I got.
I hope you can say the same.
-Elijah
