It has been a while since my last blog post! How is everyone? 🙂
I am good but I have been feeling some crazy emotions with graduation coming up and realizing that I will be starting the next stage of my life! But I also can’t slack off on school (Senioritis is just as bad the second time around!).
On top of that I have entered into the world of raising support. A world that I never, NEVER, thought I would find myself in. But here I am doing just that. Here I am laying in bed at 3 am worrying about raising this money. Worrying about when my return address stickers will come in so I can mail letters for support, wondering if I will ever be able to reach my goal. With a bunch of fundraising ideas popping into my head, that in the morning I will forget or just not do. So, reality is I cannot raise all this money. It is only with this being God’s plan for me and me giving all I can to him, me trusting God more than I am worrying, that this will be possible.
I never wanted to have to raise money this way because I always thought that people would look at me like I was asking for a handout and that people would lose “respect” because I am asking people for money. And I wish I could say this is false thinking, but the reality is there are people who don’t respect me for this and people that do believe I am just looking for a hand out, so I can “travel the world”. It won’t matter what I say to them. It won’t matter if I explain how I want to see these other cultures, so I can learn more about them and how to love them instead of going into countries and trying to make them like America and really doing more harm then help. It doesn’t matter if I tell them that I am going to be going the hardest places I will ever experience, and my heart will be shattered to the point that I won’t want to pray that God will break my heart for what breaks His because I will be breaking already. I could go on and on. But Matthew 7:6 says “Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces.” I think this verse is pretty clear on it’s meaning (No it does not literally mean pearls). It is saying do not give what is of value to those who don’t care about it. It is not my job to convince people of the value of what I am doing when they already don’t appreciate what Christ has done for all of humanity in the first place. I am not going to convince a not-yet Christian the value of this call on my life. I must do as Jesus once instructed his disciples and “shake the dust off” my feet and move on.
That is why I must look at the positive. I must look at the Church and those who believe in Jesus and his calling for us to be set apart. I must look toward the God who came down in the flesh to save all of humanity by being the example of how to live as well as bridging the gap between humanity and God. When I have a hard time remembering this I listen to the song “Confidence” by Sanctus Real. This is a song that talks about faith, hope, and having a heart after God so that we can push through and face out battle knowing God is by our side. It is when listening to this song that I can see the value of my friends wearing the shirts I have been selling. I can see the value of the people who get excited for me when I talk about my calling. I can see the value of the small and big money donations I have received. I can see the value of a friend telling me they there are now two elderly ladies that live in Kansas City that have added me to their prayer list because he told them about what I was doing. The value of the family that encourages and loves me, the friends that have loved me continually and supported me as well. The friends that tell me just what I need to hear when they don’t even know it. The friend that buys me a pizza and tells me I am a great RA and he doesn’t even know the hard week I have been having (And dang was that pizza a blessing).
So, when you are feeling like you are way in over your head, when you feel like there is no way that you can do it, you might be right. But there is a God who is above all of creation that can do it. There is a God whose love goes beyond our understanding of love. Listen to the hope that God proclaims. It might show up in the most unlikely places. It might be something like a friend buying you food or just inviting you over, it might a song you hear or a verse you read. It might even be the audible voice of God. God will be beside you the whole way and God will be with you when you are calling out to Him. God wants the best for us, and let me tell you, His very presence is best for us.
