Most days my mind spins with questions, thoughts, and wonders. I also tend to overthink everything and I don’t always like this quality in myself. After graduating from college this past May, I naturally did A LOT of thinking. These thoughts were mainly about my purpose and the future.
What did I want my life to look like after college?
Will my future job make me happy?
Is there value or importance in the way that I am living my life?
Am I living out the purpose that God has for me?
A large part of our lives are spent pursuing a career. We are constantly learning and working in hopes of earning money and being successful. Aside from this, each of us has passions and priorities that drive our lives and give us a sense of identity. For me, nothing else has been able to fully fulfill my heart and soul more, than knowing the truth and love of Jesus. He has changed my life in the BEST WAY. Y’all I truly believe that no job, no relationship, no amount of money or material thing is able to bring people more joy and peace than knowing our Creator. Maybe you’re reading this and you don’t agree, it sounds corny and you’ve never been able to understand the whole Christian thing. That’s okay because I was the same way at one point. I hope that my story and journey can have even the slightest positive impact on your heart.
So just like most college graduates, I entered the adult world and got a full time job. As I woke up each day and drove to work I felt restless. I was enjoying my new job but there was a voice telling me that there is more to discover, more to do, more to be, and that I must challenge myself in some other way. I questioned this restless feeling for many weeks and continually prayed about it.
At first I thought to myself…Elena, you should be grateful for what you have instead of wanting more.
I soon realized that my feelings of dissatisfaction did not come from a place of ungratefulness but rather God wanting me to peruse something bigger than myself during this season of life. Like I said earlier so much of our time is dedicated to school and work and I feel the need to fully dedicate 11 months to the Lord who has given me EVERYTHING wonderful and good so that I can have life and have it to the full-John 10:10. Don’t get me wrong, school and work are both valuable, but I think it’s important to live life with less fear, more risk taking, more wonder, and more excitement so we don’t become stuck in a bubble of safety and routine that weighs down are spirits.
Boredom is such an insult to living. What a wonder. How anyone grows accustomed to this life, as if it is a given, as if it is obvious, is a shock to me.
–Jedidiah Jenkins
Once I applied for the Race and got accepted I felt a lot of peace but there are still days where I feel restless, fearful and unsure. This journey will be hard but I am motivated to endure the challenges that it brings and run with perseverance for God’s will because He has set my heart free.
My prayer through out this entire experience is that God can help me be an extension of His love, mercy and goodness so that more hearts can beat for Him.
Thank you for taking the time to read my thoughts! I will continue blogging about my story and journey. Subscribe at the top for updates 🙂
-Elena
