My parents are very traditional. I’m number eight in my family, so my parents are old enough be like grandparents. They’re from the 50’s and 60’s. Where women were expected to stay home with the children and the men brought home the bacon. Not only are they a traditional couple, but they’re Mexican as well; Full on traditionally Mexican. My mom grew up making 100 tortillas every morning at the age of 11 for all the men in her family; she practically raised her brothers and sister. So here I am, 18 years old, straight out of high school and I want out of my house! I want to be free! I didn’t want to be sucked into tradition. I knew, or should I say assumed, that the only way for me to get out of my home was to get married! I was literally prepared to find some sucker to get me out if I had to. It was clear to me at a young age, that my parents didn’t believe in women who went off on their own and away from home. I felt trapped!
So after two years of praying and pleading for God to get me out, or to tell me what to do, my friend came to me one day at a church service and told me that the Lord had shown her a vision of me in a wedding dress. And He told her the day He says go, it will not be because of an earthly man, who was going to take me from my home, but Jesus Himself was to be the bridegroom! And my parents would give me their blessing.
My friend, not knowing the burden I had of getting married to leave home, completely grabbed, hooked, and heaved that burden off my shoulders! I was weightless! Im going to be free! Ill soon be out doing what God made me for!
Well, soon didn’t come quick enough. A year later still at home I was getting antsy. Once again I was praying and begging for God to tell me “Go”! But no answer. It was as if He was not there! So what do I do when I get desperate? I take matters into my own hands and decided to move into my friends house. I told my parents, who were upset, and my sisters encouraged me to pray about it first. Well, I wasn’t asking anymore! Or so I thought. I tried everything in my being to move out! But I was being torn! My family was upset with me, my friends saying they’d take me in, but with the blessing of my family. I was stuck again! So I ran. I went out in the middle of nowhere and yelled at God. “Talk to me! All I ever asked of you was for you to talk to me! It’s all Ive ever wanted! What do I do?!”
Voice sore, eyes swollen, I went to our secret garden, a place I created for solely me and Jesus in my mind, and pictured Jesus and I at our gardens waterfall. I looked up at Him and asked, “So what should I do?” Now at the time I was simply imagining this. I wasn’t expecting a response that I hadn’t already planned. But when I asked, so clearly, almost audibly, he responded “Wait”.
I flung my eyes open! “No way! That was just me, no way was that God.” Shocked I prayed to God to show me through scripture if it was really Him. My bible app gave me, 1 Corinthians 7:17, “And don’t be wishing you were someplace else or with someone else. Where you are right now is Gods place for you.” (MSG) I was shocked! God had spoken to me! I was so high in His presence of love, I never wanted it to go away.
Another year passed and my foot was tapping. Wanting to do something I decided to look into mission trips. So, I found The World Race. After many blogs and videos I was hooked! I immediately began the process of applying. I went to my parents and showed them the videos and explained to them what the race was. My mom, who is very opinionated, didn’t say a word, but simply mmm’d. And my dad said,”If you’re gonna do it, then do it! Don’t think about it, just do it”! Who are these people? I was so shocked, but because of their responses I felt like this is what God wanted me to do. Once I was accepted the trials came! The enemy was doing everything in his power to make me miserable. It sucked but it encouraged me even more! The enemy is mad, I must be doing something right! Then one day I was asked about my confirmation from the Lord. “How did God confirm to you that you should go on the race?” “Well, I got accepted..duh..” Deep down though I was worried. “What if this is not God’s will for me?” So a few days later, while house sitting a place, I started to pray. I asked God for confirmation. I didn’t want to put so much effort into something I was not meant to do.
All of a sudden, while sitting in some strangers kitchen, this intense, thick, and almost tangible presence filled the room. And it was filled with love! So much love! A deep and strong feeling of complete adoration. And the Lord revealed me in my wedding dress! The love in the room was so thick, and then doubled when He showed me that. It was so consuming, almost unbearable! I knew if He came any closer I would burst! My bridegroom was in the room with me. He was not the Father, or the Savior, but the bridegroom! And He was embracing His bride! I wanted to hear more, so I grabbed my bible app and got Songs of Solomon chapters 1-3. If you don’t know what it says, its three chapters of a man and woman telling each other how much they love and adore each other. So not only did my bridegroom embrace me as His bride with his love, but He also sweetened the moment even more with words of His love for me! And I knew at that moment He was saying “Go.” My bridegroom and I are going on an adventure together! He’s taking me as his Bride!
