Dear Debby,
One time, about a year ago, I was telling you that I’m not used to writing in a missions blog or newsletter about anything other than what actually happened that month in/on the mission field. You know that I’ve been in missions for over 5 years now, and I most often share something specific that God has actually done. But you said that if I ever wanted to share more, I could just pretend that I am writing to you. With one month left on the Race, I’m finding it difficult to compose a blog like I normally would, so, I’ll pretend that I’m sitting on the couch with you and Sam in Las Vegas, having a chai tea latte and petting Pugsly.
I have one month left on the Race. I’ll fly into San Francisco on June 21, and after that point, this wild adventure will be over. I’m filled with mixed emotions. I am very, very excited for what the future holds for me. I know that God has wonderful plans for me, some that I have a taste of and others that I’m sure will completely surprise me. I’m not sad that this trip is ending, that I won’t get to visit anymore countries and meet the people there. I know to my core that the real adventure is my relationship with God. He is an unending well of love, hope, joy, peace, and so much more. And as you know Debby, He is pretty wild. I don’t have to be on a trip like this to be on an adventure. Every day I never know what to expect with Him, but it’s always something good.
But, I am sad because I don’t know that I have always taken in the fullness of what could have been on this mission trip. There were times when I was so tired, I didn’t want to go out with my teammates when they went to do ministry, and so I didn’t. I’m sad about that. I’m sad about the opportunities that I know I have missed to love people in these countries. I’m sad that at times I wasn’t more bold. Why, after visiting Angelica over 4 times at her coffee shop and building a friendship with her, could I never get over the awkward barrier that at the time I felt was so strong it led me to never share with her about my faith in Jesus beyond saying “I’m a Christian”? I was so emotionally and physically drained at that point in the Race. I tried. I was going to see her consistently, but at that time it felt like there was this invisible clamp on my mouth. I don’t know what happened to me, why I didn’t have the boldness to just tell her! It’s things like that that make me look back on this year and think “I could have done so much more!”. I’m sad that I could have been a part of so much more that God probably wanted to do with each of my days, but I let tiredness, or distractions, or comfort, or fear get in the way of stepping into the newness of what God was doing in each day.
On the other hand, I am filled with so much joy thinking back on all that God has done this year! My squad has seen and been a part of leading many people to our Savior Jesus. I have shared the Gospel dozens of times. I honestly don’t know why none of the people I shared with accepted Jesus, but I am just trusting that God is continuing to pursue each of those people, and one day I hope that they will respond to the light of God’s revelation about the forgiveness and new life found in His Son. Our squad has prayed for people to be healed, and they were! We have loved people and served in a countless number of ways, I can’t even begin to recount all of the ways that God has used us this year, from France to Mongolia.
I guess what I’m trying to say Debby, is that I’m not sure how in the world I’m ever going to process this year when I come home, and I’m not sure how I can even begin to explain to people at home what it has been like. God has widened my view of Him and myself so, so much. I am definitely not the same person I was when I left. You and Sam told me I would change a lot but I didn’t really believe you. I thought I had this missionary thing in the bag… but oh my goodness, God took me on the craziest internal journey this year. He revealed and broke down so many lies that I was believing to my core to be true. He broke down walls that I’d built up around my heart, and He taught me how to trust in a way that I never have before.
God also widened my understanding of His passion and love for people, for those who know Him and have already been adopted into the family, and for those who don’t yet know this majestic God we get to call Lord and friend. I thought I had a passion for living my life for and with Christ before, but now more than ever! I’ve seen the Church, the living breathing body of Christ, in over a dozen countries now, and every Christian I’ve talked with each has their own story of how Jesus came and changed their lives. They’re out in the world reaching others with the Good News, and making disciples. And I’ve met dozens and dozens of unbelievers, many who are searching for something that is missing in their hearts. I know that it’s Jesus they are looking for, and it’s been humbling to get to be the one that God sent to be there with each of them, and to get to tell them about the hope we have in Christ. I have felt so much love for these people as I talk with them, and I know that God’s love is infinitely greater than mine could ever be… and He’s pursuing each one of them! He sent a group of Americans out into the world this year to sit and talk with them, and I know that He has done and will continue to do much, much more than that.
Here in Mongolia, in the last few weeks a taxi driver gave His life to Christ, I got to meet and train another anti-trafficking Christian group, I’ve led worship, I’ve prayed for people, I’ve talked with several new friends about Jesus, we helped a church with a renovation project, and someone was healed. I haven’t even yet heard about how the rest of my squad’s month has been going. God is using us to be a light in this spiritually dark place.
Debby, this year has been filled to the brim with God’s goodness, I really can’t describe it in words. But it’s not over yet! We have 3ish more weeks of ministry in China, and then our final debrief will be the last 5-6 days, to try as best we can to process/debrief and prepare to come back to the States. I am so, so, so, so, so very excited for this next month! I am excited to finish my Race with joy, strength, and hope. I am on a new team of 9 people, Mega Omega (literally meaning “the big end” or “the big finish!”). Our team is really looking forward to traveling through China and hitting some of the major tourist spots. Our hope/vision is to meet people on trains and buses and at these tourist spots who we can talk with and share about Jesus. But, China is very, very strict/controlled/regulated. Social media and apps are monitored for words related to the Christian faith like “God” and “prayer” and “Bible” so we’re going to use code words. We’ll have to be extremely careful in our evangelism. We also have decided to let this be a time of intercession for the people of China. We’ll be praying everywhere we go!
And actually, Facebook and Gmail and Skype and a whole list of other sites are banned completely in China. So, this will be my last blog before I’m home, because I will probably need to make my blog hidden or private pretty soon. But if you (or any of my readers) want to connect with me, I don’t think Yahoo is banned and I created a Yahoo account that you should be able to reach me at: [email protected]
I’ll see you and all of my other friends and family very soon!! 🙂 Please pray for my team as we travel through China starting tomorrow! We are really excited to see what can happen this month! I love you lots, and I’ll see you soon!
Love,
Elaine
A sunset in Mongolia
My squad worshipping God‘s goodness this year and always
We went to the park to worship, and on the way home my teammate talked with the taxi driver about Jesus and he became a believer! Praise God!
