in honor of just celebrating Valentines Day.
I’ve always loved Valentines day, one simply because it’s a holiday and two because it gives you a tangible way that day to show the people you love that you love them. But what about the people you don’t love?
Now this topic has been pressed hard on me for the past couple months. What about times when I just don’t love people? When Love doesn’t motivate any of my actions.? Is there a difference when love is the motivator and the driving force rather then any other thing, like just good manners, or fear?
There is a homeless shelter right down the street from where we are staying, on Wednesday nights they have a community outreach where people go out and invite people on the streets to come to the center during the week and to just simply show them love.
On the way to outreach last Wednesday something happened. I saw the thing I knew I was going to see in Malaysia. I saw a rat, actually two, and both on the walk over to the center. It’s understandable considering we are living in rat paradise this month, by the beach with lots of people, food scraps and venders everywhere and gutters. Anyway I was fine and then I sat down and froze. I was literally consumed with fear within a second and didn’t want to move. I had decided that I was just going to stay in my chair and not go and reach out to the community that night. A teammate saw this and just gently spoke “you do not walk in fear Elaina”, and God had put in my heart a strong desire to go out and show people love that night, I just had to choose to have that be what led me.
That night I met a Muslim woman who was a single mom who had walked downtown from her home about 1 and a half hours away with her children to stay there a few nights and find work. She was in some pain from a recent surgery and just needed people to talk to. Another squad mate of mine and I were able to just listen to her struggles and at one point went back and forth sharing our faiths. After all this she looked at me and said “I want you to share with me your fears and if you have any troubles” she even told me I could call her and talk about it. Pretty awesome right?! I mean I couldn’t really think of much on the spot so I just shared about the stupid rats I saw and how much I hate them. She smiled and then in the greatest way she knew how to love she placed my hands a certain way and prayed for me.
Over the past 7 months I have been living in a community. This is obvious, and a rather large community. At times it is with my whole squad of 46 people and then during a large part of the time it is with a team of 7 people who I spend literally every second with. In community you feel safe, accepted, and loved. There’s always someone around and you never are alone. There are times in community though and in life for that matter when you don’t choose who you’re with. You can’t just leave someone if you don’t want to be around him or her and you can’t avoid. And if you pick and choose who you love, things go pretty bad. When God says love people, Im seeing more and more how He means love ALL people. I am seeing that when love is my motivator for my relationships then I may be annoyed, angry or upset with someone but I am still capable of showing loving actions. Emotions don’t always line up with actions and there are times when you can’t feel feelings of love or trust with a friend or in any relationship but you can still love. I get some feelings of defeat almost when my actions don’t line up with my emotions. When im annoyed it’s hard to also have my emotions inside be overwhelming with love, because they instead are overwhelmed with feeling annoyed, but If I still actively love that friend then I trust myself that sooner rather then later my emotions will calm and re set. When you love people who you normally wouldn’t have you not only grow you heart in ways you couldn’t before but you see how they are just as deserving of love as you are.
So with this now back to Valentines day. I hope it was wonderful for you. I just need to share a glimpse of mine because it was so special. 11 girls woke up to roses on the tables and rose pedals leading to the table and notes from our two men for every girl. That night we had a rooftop dinner hung out, and ended the night with the men putting on a performance to just the way you are by Bruno Mars, one of my teammates, Brian, wrote the girls a poem and then we got lots of chocolate and hugs haha. We were able to all encourage each other and show some love. Basically for 11 girls it made us feel so special and beautiful and the men feel loved and worthy.
For your viewing pleasures Now… Brian, and Billy. Feel free to laugh at how ridiculous girls are.
