Since day one of the Race, I’ve been asking God to transform me in to who we desires me to be. I’ve asked Him to show me how to love the people around me well – to love as Jesus did. I want to love people unconditionally even if they are sick, drunk, high, tattooed, smokers, or adulterers. I want to want to spend time with the people that need Jesus the most.
He’s unquestionably been working on my heart. I am hesitant to say it, but I believe I’m starting to get a slight grasp on the concept of love. I’m not an expert by any means. I can think of countless people in my life that I look up to for how they love others and I still have a lot to learn.
I HATE reading! Well that’s not entirely true. I used to hate reading. I hated reading when reading was assigned to me for whatever reason. It probably has to do with that little problem with authority that I have (Yes, I’m working on that too…). I dreaded English classes throughout my scholastic career. I utterly hated that moment when a teacher would assign a book to read. Most of the time, I wouldn’t read the books at all – thank you Spark Notes.
I really, really dislike reading the Bible. I thought it was old and boring and agreed with the usual excuses that people come up with all the time. I thought it was outdated and didn’t apply to me. When mentors have told me to spend time with Jesus I almost always pick up a Christian book over the Bible. I’ve done a lot of that one the Race, too. Last month, I broke down and bought a Kindle. I hate to admit that. Since then, I’ve read like 10-12 books. My team probably thinks I’ve been even more antisocial over the past month than I was before just because I always had my face in that thing.
God laid it on my heart to read the entire Bible during the Race. I’ve been fighting him. Hard. It’s been five and a half months and I’ve stood my ground, declining at all costs to read that Book. I decided this month to start reading the Bible with the help of some friends. In fact, I’m going to read the entire Bible during the season of Lent. It’s about an hour to an hour and fifteen minutes of reading a day and I even get Sundays off. We’ll see how it goes. I’ll keep you guys apprised of the situation.
Lastly – prayer. It’s another one of those things. One of those things that I didn’t think was important enough to find time for. Jesus and I have been hard at work on my heart regarding prayer. I’ve been listening to countless sermons on prayer, reading what Paul has to say about talking with Jesus. It’s important. I know it is important. But I still feel like it isn’t important for me. I feel like I don’t gain anything by praying. God challenged me beginning last month sometime. He told me to start praying when I wake up, when I go to bed, and every hour on the hour in between. I know it sounds simple and easy but it’s tough. I don’t know if I can remember a time when I’ve prayed when I wake up and before I go to bed consistently, ever.
So that’s where I am this month. I am praying more than ever. Praying for people here, people at home, people in other countries I’ve been too, and a whole lot more. I’m going to be reading the entire Bible over the next two months (wish me luck!). God is moving in me – changing me, transforming my heart, conforming my mind, and challenging my weaknesses so that He can make me strong. It’s painful and seems trivial at times, but I think and pray that at the end it’ll be so worth it.
