My time in Zambia has been nothing short of some internal conflict going on. As i have battled with unworthiness, as well as my own value amongst my peers, nothing could have prepared me for what I was about to experience this month.
Let me take you back to December 31st. My squad and I were attending a mini Debrief as we were gathering togethler to ring in the new year and say our goodbyes to some pretty awesome people. Two of my squadmates jessie and Emma, gave a lecture on the Muslim Religion Islam. I know many of us including myself were intrigued, as they spoke to us about the beliefs, customs and some of the Similarities and differences between Christianity and Islam. To be quite honest i was looking forward to actually meeting someone of this faith and talking with them more about it. Fast forward to this past Tuesday. My team and I had the priviledge to conversate with a man named Witness and his friend Haikeem (not sure this is how he actually spells his name). Witness was a man who professed to be muslim and practice the Islamic beliefs that he had come to learn of. My teammates Jessie and Anthony mainly took lead in asking him questions and answering questions that he had. Myself and the other two memebers present at that time, mainly sat and listened. What is your name? He asks me, and i tell him. Say something, i want you to contribute to this discussion, are you a Christian? Why do you believe in Jesus? Yes, i am a Christian, i believe in Jesus because i know that he truly is who he says he is and that He is truly what fills my heart. He is life and gives me meaning and a purpose and hope. And the things i search for in sin to fill the void in my heart, i no longer have to indulge in because my needs are met in him. The Bible is more than just a rule book and a set of guidelines (one of the the things he mentions about our faith), it is God’s story of love of his people, and how he made a way to save us because he wants us. Yes the Bible is meant for teaching, rebuking, and training in righteousness, but it is also one of the ways, in how we come to grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and savior in Relationship, which is what he desires and wants with us, which is why the two greatest commanents are to love God with your all and love your neighbor as yourself, because love will lead you to willingly obey rather than obey out of obligation.
After that he then says, alright, I see. His friend Haikeem who is a christian says that is truth and you are correct. I then continue listening to the conversation and hear Witness share his life and His faith. At one point Witness was a Christian, he was Jehovahs witness, but because of the hypocrisy he was seeing in the people who were claiming to be Christian, and the false teaching of prosperity and wealth and pastors coming wanting to take money from people, and not actually share the Truth, he began searching for what is true and came across Islam, and really liked the values and authenticty of what it teaches, thus begining his journey with Islam. I am not like other Muslims practicing Islam, because i was raised Christian and still believe some of the things Christians believe, yet i also practice Islam as well. As the conversation continues, we cover a wide variety of topics in accordance to answering his questions. We explain how God is actually a father, which, the God in Islam, is not. They believe Allah God is God and that he is the one and only God. We then show him in the Qu’ran where it says Allah is not a father, and he actually comes to truly believe That God is a Father. “ Most of everything you have said and showed me, I see and believe, except this one thing: Jesus is Not God and i do not believe it and I will show you as i am researching it to prove it.” At this, we invite him to research why he believes this , as well as research why Jesus is God. He then asks us to answer him and share with evidence the truth as to why we believe he is God. We start by explaining the Trinity and how God is one God with 3 different forms: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. We show him in Scripture starting in John 1 and how the Word was God and became flesh or man who was in fact Jesus. I remebered Exodus chapter 3 when the Lord says to call him I AM and that is his name forever, and how he is the only one who can say that, and how Jesus when brought before the Pharisees says he is I AM, and that if he were not God he would not have been able to say that. Though we spent over two hours conversating and answering his questions, he still says he does not believe Jesus is God and that we should research more. We told him we would and that he should do the same, and the next time we meet, we can discuss it more and actually find the truth. As we are wrapping up our conversation, my teammate rachel tells him: “I see you are a man of discernmemt and a man who seeks to research and to know. You are sitting on the fence and truly just looking for truth, and are being pulled in two different directions. Imagine for a minute, that you are a lost sheep from the parable in the Bible, you went astray and Jesus left the 99 to come find you, which shows that he purses you. He pursued you through us who are his vessels and he is saying i see you, I welcome your questions, ask me i will answer you, and that He is doing it through us, who are taking time out of our day to meet with you and seek you out FOR FREE, we do not require that you pay us for this time but because we want to tell you truth and offer this wisdom, and we love you, which is why we speak with you. You know what is true, you already know the answer. Its you, you have this wall up before God and it is blocking you from actually surrendering to him, and so you need to ask yourself, what is keeping me from believing and truly reflecting on it.” At this Witness has a convicted look on his face and says, alright i will do that, you are right. With that, we say our goodbyes and part ways.
All of us walked away from that conversation joyful, expectant, full, satisfied, and so blessed to have been apart of what God is doing for the ONE. I truly felt free and extreme joy, which i have not felt very much of often times on the race. I truly believe, that i understand Jesus and what he means, when He says my food is to do the will of the father, and i already ate, which is what he tells his disciples after speaking to the woman at the well.
Looking back at this now, it is like i hear the Lord telling me : Dylan, I am your worth, your value is found in me, and my Spirit and the Word I give you is the most valuable thing that will ever be, and it is inside of you which makes you invaluable, especially to me. You are my Vessel of Righteousness, you do not have to compare and contrast yourself to others because you are the same as they are, yet also different. I used YOU when speaking to that man, and that shows you how much value I see in you and how much you are worth to me. Did you forget my Word and who I am? Did you forget what I have done? Trust what I say of you and you won’t have this internal Conflict. The choice is yours. And God is right in saying this. This month has been so blessed and so good. The thoughts and feelings I had going into the month, are slowly dissolving, as God has done and still is doing amazing things, and reworking my heart and cleaning it and healing it. This experience this month was not one I was prepared for, yet it was so worth it, and neither has this entire experience been something I could have prepared for. I thank God for the gift and opportunity to choose me and allow me to journey with him in this way. Please continue to pray for Witness, God is moving in his life and your prayers for him will be such a gift and a blessing to him, and will literally lead him to Life. Pray that we meet up with him again before we leave, and that The Lord would show himself and that the Holy Spirit would move in his heart and bring him home.
Until next time,
Your world traveler,
Dyl
