I wanted this post to be about my time with the Lord while encountering him in Serbia. I wanted to share with you what I would’ve been learning, the people I would have encountered, the way my team and I would have been doing life in this first month of the race, and so much more. However, plans have changed, and this will not be the case.
As all of you know, I was supposed to be launching this August to start this pilgrimage and journey with the Lord. I have been trying and struggling to find the words and the way to share with you all that I am not Launching and am in fact not going at this time. I did not meet my 10,000$ deadline which would have been needed to ensure my launch. Although, I know and believed that God can and would provide, I chose to defer to a later time. My squad Mentor, and mobilizer as well as my squad was rooting for me, and willing to help me achieve this goal in any way, and I was willing and excited. However, I not only wanted more time, I wanted to wait, and felt as though this was not the time for me to launch out. At least, this is what I had convinced myself of and believed.
Yes, I wanted more time, and I did think I needed to go later, however, those were excuses. I was struggling to trust in the Lord, and let go and abandon. I had let attachments to people and circumstances and what I had wanted get in the way. Yes, all the things mentioned above where true, but they were not the whole reason. “Count the cost,” that is what I had been hearing since training camp, and I did not fully do that. I know for so long (10 years almost) I wanted to stop what I was doing and live life as Jesus and his disciples fulfilling the Great Commission, and live as he lived, I still want that and I desire to spend my life doing that. SO what happened? instead of letting the Spirit lead me and follow, I let anxiety and fear do it.
Again I hear “Count the cost,” this time I feel as though I am counting the cost of not launching with my former squad, missing out on what God is doing on my former route, and the ways I could have grown with him. However, God is still good, merciful, graceful, and my guide, as well as forgiving. Yes, I have had heartbreak seeing my family on this route serve and encounter the Lord in mighty ways and not being their to experience it with them, but God always knows what is best.
With that being said, In my last blog I mentioned that the Lord told me I was made for such a time as this and that I was given a specific mission on the race and that this was his will. I still believe that is true, and I am so happy and grateful to announce that I am still going on the race by the grace of God. I get to launch Next august on Route 3 (PS, this was the same route number I was to be launching on this August). Here are the Countries I will be going to as of now:
Panama, Costa Rica, Nicaragua, El Salvador, Malawi, Zambia, Zimbabwe, Thailand, Cambodia, Indonesia, Malaysia.
I am super excited to wholeheartedly join and serve the Lord in these places, as well as grow in him. I am very grateful that the Lord is faithful and that when He says his word will not return to him void, it is true and this is just one example of that. I am also grateful and thankful that this time I know I am willing and am abandoning and letting go all be with encounter and serve him, and I get to go to these places with my best friend (That is a gift).
Thank you all for joining me on this journey and still investing in me. Your prayers are appreciated and still needed. My encouragement to you all is this:
It is not to late, The Lord and his plans and ways will be done. You may feel like you upset God and his plans, and though there are costs and consequences, He in his infinite grace is merciful and his ways will still be. You may have to wait, but in that waiting he is disciplining you and renewing you and growing you. I pray that He would show himself to you not only through this but in life and his word as well. I look forward to this continued journey that took a pit stop, and all of you walking beside me in it because I cannot do this alone.
If you would like to know more or want more detail about this whole situation, please feel free and contact me, I am willing to share this with you, all for his purposes.
I love you all and look forward to sharing this with you all for the next two years!!!
Until Next time!
