This month there was a time in worship I felt like I needed to dance. Not just moving my feet but more of a contemporary style of dance that made me move with expression. I went to the back where people could not see me and just danced. I was filled with so much joy. Then one day during team time, we had worship outside the flat I was staying. We were free to worship however God wanted us too. God asked me to dance. So I went away from the team and danced. I was so happy just dancing for God. I then realized something, throughout high school I wanted to do everything with God. Honestly, I was doing that because yes, I wanted to but I also felt like I had to put God first in everything I did. What I experienced today was so different than what I had felt in high school. I realized I no longer felt like putting God first was a rule but a desire. Today when I danced I just wanted to dance for God. I didn’t have to force myself too. I wasn’t doing it because it was a rule. It was so different. I have had many times throughout the past couple of years where I put God in whatever I was doing, be it work, school, ect and receiving joy but it never hit me that it was so different from those times in high school. I now am realizing what it means to put God first in everything because I get to, I want to. In the past I was putting God first because I had to, like a rule. I am excited to have realized how I had grown. It is no longer, “I gotta put God first.” It is “I get to put God first.” Some might read this and say, “He faked it until he made it.” So maybe I did fake it until I made it. I am not sure. Maybe my heart is just in the right place now, maybe a lot of things…. However, I do know this. I enjoy getting to put God first.
