I wrote this in India and never shared it. But I think the Lord wants me to, so here we go…
Sometimes people leave me feeling inadequate. It’s something us humans do to each other – often unintentionally. When they do, I go to the Lord and ask Him, “Am I enough?” That’s what I did the other night. As always, His answer was a big fat “YES.” He showered His love and affection on me. He reminded me who I am, because I so often forget. He whispered truth to replace the screaming lies that filled my head. He lifted me above my cloud of emotions and insecurities to give me new perspective. He got in my mess, stayed in long enough to comfort me, and then reached out his hand to pull me up. He loves me too much to let me dwell there – so He began to leave and invited me to follow. But I didn’t want to go quite yet. I wanted to sit in my hurt. I wanted my pity party to last a little longer. Needing validation, I asked Jesus again, “Am I enough?” As Jesus was walking away, He turned around and asked me the same question, “Am I enough?”
He continued, “I just told you how dear you are to me. I called you my beloved, cherished, treasured, prized and favored daughter. The Creator of All just told you how special you are. I sat beside you because I love you and you’re mine – and I don’t leave my children. Ever. But you’re acting as if you don’t know who’s been sitting beside you. I’ve said you’re more than enough for me, but Dylan, am I enough for you? You are a woman of God. Walk like one.”
In Matthew 21 Jesus overturned some tables because people were selling things in the temple. He didn’t appreciate them turning the House of God into a den of thieves. I love this side of Jesus. He’s not afraid to ruffle some feathers to prove a point. He needed to get the people’s attention.
Jesus also needed to get my attention. So instead of overturning tables, He turned my question back over to me. I was upset because others had made me feel rejected – but He made me realize I was doing the same to Him. I was acting as though He wasn’t enough.
Someone once told me our view of God determines our response to God.
When I sit and think about His greatness, my mind is blown. But like the Israelites wondering through the wilderness, I constantly forget I have a God who saved me from the bondage of slavery. When I put Him in a box, my response to Him resembles opening an unwanted Christmas gift. I pretend to like it, I’m grateful for the gesture, but my heart‘s not in it. If I truly believed deep down in my soul that God – the One who spoke the world into existence – thinks the world of me, then I wouldn’t need others’ affirmation.
“The more fully we invite God in, the less we feel uninvited by others. With the fullness of God, we are free to let humans be humans – fickle and fragile and forgetful.”
I was not put on this earth to please people so I could feel good about myself. My value doesn’t depend upon how people feel about me or how they treat me. Can you imagine if it did? Yikes. My value is firmly rooted in Jesus. His feelings about me don’t change, and thankfully they never will. His love for me is unwavering, so why shouldn’t my self-worth be as well?
Paul was pretty clear about people pleasing when writing to the churches in Galatia. He wrote, “If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.” Sounds like this ex-people pleaser knew how much it could get in the way of spreading the Gospel. We kind of miss the point behind the Good News if it doesn’t change our need to live for the approval of others. Jesus knew that would get tiring and ultimately lead to us feeling worthless. Jesus’ message was this: we’re worth everything.
Jesus told me to walk like a woman of God. Women of God are confident. They walk with their head held high because they know to whom they belong. Women of God walk in freedom. They’re not performing for the world and seeking applause. Women of God aren’t afraid to take risks. Their identity isn’t found in success. Women of God are bold. They believe what God says about them and act on it. Women of God live loved – because they know they are.
“Living loved is sourced in your quiet daily surrender to the One who made you.”
This is the key. Quiet daily surrender. Letting go of my independence and giving God the time of day. Letting Him love me. Guide me. Challenge me. Teach me. Mold me. Speak to me. Slowing down long enough to listen and receive and meditate.
“We run at a breakneck pace to try and achieve what God simply wants us to slow down enough to receive.”
Jesus got my attention all right. So I’m going to stop selling Him short – because He is enough – and it’s time I start believing it.
Bob Goff says, “What we do with what we believe is where we’re at.”
So I’ll leave you with this: Where are you?
