I'm once again reminded that anytime something big is about to happen or God is about to take you into a new season, more times than not, you're met with opposition and trials.
Right now, I'm feeling the full weight of this.
Several times in my life the phrase, "You're too much", was spoken over me. I'm fighting like hell to get that junk off of me now. Out of my sight and out of my mind, for good!
Growing up I was "that kid." I got picked on, made fun of, and was constantly reminded by others that I wasn't good enough. After sometime of experiencing this stuff, you start to believe it, and eventually it'll take its toll.
It did in my life.
"You're too much" soon became, "You're not worth it", "You'll never be much of anything", and “You're not worthy of love." Things that choke the life out of people…
I remember even before launching for the World Race in September 2011, I had somebody say, “Dusty, people don’t wanna be around you.” I was “too much for people” and "You should consider dropping out of the World Race because nobody would want to be around you, and eventually, you'd be out there alone." I can’t begin to explain to you how bad that hurt. Since then, I've forgiven that person and talked through this, but it's hard to forget.
So now, here I am, 25 years old, still wrestling to un-believe the things I've believed for so long. It sucks and right now, I feel like I can't shake it some days.
I struggle to see my potential, and to believe that I make a difference and bring life to people. I don't always feel like I'm wanted or lovable. Worst of all, some days I still carry around the banner that says, "Dusty, you're too much for people."
I wrote this last night and am posting it today.
“I'm gonna be ok, but right now this is where I'm at tonight. And here I am, laying out all my crap for y'all to see. Tomorrow is a new day and Gods mercies are new each day, hallelujah!”
Remember your words and the power of life and death that they carry. It's something that we should be very intentional about.
Go out and bless somebody today. Tell somebody what they're worth and…
I've often thought, morbid as it may sound, if something were to happen to me, who would come to my funeral and what would people say about me? I pray I've touched many people's lives and I pray that I’ve made a difference. I think we've all thought that from time to time.
Love y'all.
Oh yeah… Guess what? Today is a new day! Hallelujah!
Don’t ever give up. No matter what somebody says or what odds are stacked against you. God never gives up on you, so why should you or anybody else?! You’re the ONLY one who can hold yourself back.
