Somedays on the World Race are just hard. No way around it, this journey is the most awesome, but most painful and difficult thing I have ever done before. Somedays the pain of being here, 1/2 way around the world from everything I have ever known is tough. I never thought these 11 months would be easy, but I also had not prepared for what I would experience… Then again, I don’t think there is anyway to prepare properly.
I am growing. I am stretching. I am being changed and molded into a godly man. A man of confidence, steadfastness, and boldness. The process however, is a grueling one. Its hard living in a house with 11 children this month who cannot walk. Somedays I don’t understand. It just doesn’t make sense to me. Maybe it isn’t suppose to though. I definitely know that they have ministered to me more this month than I have to them. Its especially a stretch somedays going to the orphanage and working with children who are living in a padded room, strapped into their wheelchairs, not knowing much about the world that awaits outside… No way around it… Its just tough somedays.
God is teaching me to be bold. He is teaching me to be confident in who I am in Him. He loves me. He is also teaching me to find joy in every circumstance. That one has really smacked me in the face this month. Just to be honest, somedays I do not want to choose joy. I want to look at what all is going on around me, sulk and be depressed. Somewhere along the road of life I picked up the idea that its everybody else’s job to make me happy and make me enjoy life… WRONG. We are the only ones who can make that decision for ourselves. Nobody can make it for us. That means its up to us to take whatever life throws at us and make the best out of it. We can get pissed off and throw up our hands and quit, or we can take life by the horns and make the best out of everything that comes our way.
God has taught me this month that I have a lot to offer people. I have good things to say and I carry the power to speak life into people or speak words of death. If you have the Holy Spirit living inside of you, you have that same ability. You have the power to walk into a room or area and change the environment around you. You have influence on people lives… Why? Because JESUS lives inside of you! Thats why we choose joy. That is why when life gets tough, we don’t cower down and become timid, but we step forward in confidence and boldness that the Holy Spirit gives us and make a decision to stay joyful no matter what happens.
I just want to be honest and transparent about what I am feeling. Realizing that I have the choice to pick joy, to choose life more abundantly, the choice to walk in the freedom that Christ died to give me, the choice to let my past determine my future or to put what is behind me, behind me, and press forward for the finish line. We have the choice. I am thankful for the Lord bringing me here this month.
Somedays I think, “God, when will I get to where I need to be and be who you created me to be?” He reminds me in His word in 2 Corinthians 12:9 “But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Such a powerful verse. Waiting is tough somedays, but you press through and praise Him anyways. Its when we hit the point of realizing our desperate need for Him, that we begin to change. Its not be easy by any stretch, but I have learned that its gonna be worth it all. If you get a chance check out these 2 songs… The lyrics have rocked my world this month.
Rita Springer “Worth It All” and John Waller “While I’m Waiting”.
Love y’all.
