I actually wrote this blog on September 30th, 2011 while I was in my first month of the race in The Philippines. After this month though in Bulgaria, month 7, I think it’s the right time to post it. God taught me about freedom this month. Freedom that i’ve never understood before now. Freedom to not allow my past to determine my future. I hope this story blesses you.
Have you ever felt like somewhere along the road of life, some part of you went missing or maybe something happened and a part of you life was altered? Do you ever look at your life and wonder, “who am I and how did I get here?” I think from time to time we all have been there and asked that question.
I want to tell you a story about a little boy. He was a normal little boy who loved to run, jump, play in the mud, climb trees, and do all those things that all little boys love to do. He was the happiest kid in the whole wide world. Somewhere along his life though, a few things happened and the little boy slowly began to take a road he didn’t even realize he was on. Maybe somethings took place that he had control of, maybe somethings that were completely out of his control, but never the less, they happened and before he knew it, the path that God had intended for him to be on, was in a completely different direction from the one he was trekking. It was not something done on purpose. No, it was a very subtle thing that happened.
As the little boy grew up, he would lay in bed at night and wonder, “who am I and how did I get here?” The older he got, the more questions he asked himself. Before he knew it, the little boy who he had started out as, disappeared from his memory and faded into what seemed like was only a dream at one point in time. So he continued to move forward, almost blind and oblivious to what was going on and to who he was becoming.
Fast forward. The boy started to become a man. He went to college, graduated, got a job, and started to pursue the life of the “American dream.” He even knew the Lord and had a very strong relationship with Him. The young man was happy for the most part, at least that’s what people saw on the outside. On the inside however, he fought a battle. A battle that said, “you’re not good enough. You will never amount to anything. God doesn’t love you. You’re not worth Jesus dying for you. Nobody likes you. You might as well give up and quit trying, because you will never get anywhere or reach anybody in life. You’re scared and always will be and should be, because failure will follow you everywhere you go. Anything you try and do will not amount to anything. You want to help others, but you cannot even help yourself.” These are the voices that the young man heard. The voice of the enemy. The enemy who was out to destroy him and hold him back.
One day, he finally realized that somewhere along his life, he lost sight of the little boy he started out as, and he grew into somebody God never intended for him to be. There needed to be a change. He knew it had to happen, because if it didn’t, there was no telling where he might end up or what might happen. He had reached the point where he just didn’t know what to do anymore. So he did the only thing he knew to do. He completely abandoned everything he had ever known in life. Said “see you later” to his friends and family and left his normal, everyday life behind.
The young man embarked on a journey. A journey to help others and share the Gospel of Jesus Christ to a lost a dying world. A journey of self-discovery. A journey to find out who exactly he was in the Lord. To gain confidence in who Jesus had called him to be. To become someone who had an impact on many peoples lives. Who led by influence. To walk into the destiny that God had for him. To truly discover who he really was. To figure out what happened to that little boy so long ago. The little boy who God had fully intended on him to be.
That young man is me. I fully believe, part of this adventure for this 11 months, is to not only help the lost, the dying, and the hurting, but to also find out what happened to the little boy who God originally created me to be. The little boy who would one day grow up to be a strong, confident, man of God. This is my story.
I knew this race wouldn’t be easy, but I also didn’t know it would be so difficult. Hands down, the hardest thing i’ve ever done in my entire life. With that being said though… The journey is good, God’s love is amazing, and learning to live in the freedom that Christ offers… Well i’m not sure how to put that into words. It’s more precious than silver or gold.
I will always remember month 7 of my World Race journey as a month of freedom for me. God changed my life this past month and i’m forever grateful.
Love y’all.
P.S… To our ministry contacts in Vidin… Thank you so much for loving on us this month and blessing us. It’s not often on the World Race that you experience a month like we have had with y’all. Climbing onto that bus, tears rolling down our faces, and waving goodbye as we drove away was one of the hardest things i’ve done on the race so far. You are an amazing light in an area that’s desperate for Jesus… You bring hope and freedom. Keep shining bright and teaching others how to do that as well. Y’all are truly incredible.
Haha… I love this picture…
