These past couple months, I have been wrestling with God about my role on the World Race. Why did God call me to go on this trip right after I earned my degree from a Christian University that equipped and prepared me to go straight into vocational ministry? There was a part of me that was confused as to why God was asking me to just participate in this trip rather than having me search for a job in the leadership of a major ministry.
God has been slowly revealing to me that He called me here for a purpose. In part of His answer, He gave me one simple word, “dependence.” I realized that I am utterly at a loss in knowing what dependence on God truly looks like. I understand independence, but full and complete dependence on Him is something I’ve struggled with.
Leadership has been something that I have been a part of for the last 5 years and now transitioning to a place where I am not held responsible for anything is harder than it sounds. I am used to carrying the weight of leadership. I think of last minute details and I like to make sure everyone and everything is accounted for, but that’s not my role here.
God brought me to a place of peace about that. I felt comfortable about it and started to really live in the peace of not having to do anything or be held responsible for anything. But then my squad leader Steven approached me a few nights ago and asked me a question I didn’t expect.
During our squad’s debrief in South Africa, I decided to make the dinners for my team #agapetos. I love getting to be creative with food and experimenting with different tastes and spices that we discovered at the grocery store. My team spent our evenings sitting around the dinner table on the porch in the crisp African air enjoying the different meals I came up with. Anything is better than rice and beans and after a month of eating only that, my cooking skills were greatly appreciated.
Around the same time, some of the leadership recognized my ability and even my delight in being in charge of the meals. This led to Steven’s question the other night. He asked me to step outside for a second to talk alone. My stomach dropped as I searched my memory for something I could have done wrong that would cause this one on one conversation. But to my great surprise, Steven asked me to fill a need on my team. My heart pounded in my chest as he asked me if I would be willing to step into the role of treasurer for #agapetos. After discovering that I wasn’t in trouble, I joyfully said yes!
I am extremely excited about my new role as the team treasurer, but I know it will be extra work, so if you would join me in praying that God leads me through this role, I would greatly appreciate it. Love you all.
