The Lord has called me to a great number of things in my life. Some of them are easy.
Many of them are not.
And while I know, in my head anyway, His ways and plans are better than mine I can’t always seem to move that knowledge down to my heart.
It’s especially hard for me to follow blindly. If I can see the final destination, if I have a promise of what awaits me at the end, I am first in line, ready to sprint along the path.
Without a destination or specific promise? No thanks, I’ll come on the next adventure. Probably.
And I lived my life with that caution and hesitancy for twenty-two years. Twenty-two years of “safe”. Twenty-two years of picking and choosing which adventures and plans God had for me I’d like to participate in.
Twenty-two years of being my own authority.
And it didn’t work. It never worked. And after those twenty-two years I was sick of it.
So I heard about the World Race and God gave me a nudge, just like He had been doing my whole life. He encouraged me to take the leap, to jump into something huge and terrifying. But also into something beautiful, stretching, and filled with wonder.
And I listened.
I have zero regrets about going on the World Race. The beauty I saw in the world and in the church is something I was not open to before I left my comfortable life at home. It exists at home, but I wouldn’t see it.
I didn’t know what my journey was going to look like and I certainly didn’t know what awaited me at the end. But I only cared about who was going to be with me through the start, the middle, and the finish.
I walked my journey side by side with Jesus.
But I had to decide I wanted to. I had to align my vision with God’s vision. And before I did, I was more scared than I was excited. I looked at what would be hard, and what made me nervous, and what could go wrong.
I had my focus in the wrong place.
I had my focus on the wrong person.
Life is not about me, it’s about God. It has always been about God and it always will be.
And once I shifted my focus back to Him and to what He was calling me to, my fears melted away. God does not intend for us to live a life of fear. He did not give us a spirit of fear, but of power.
I decided to listen to the spirit of power from the Lord when I chose the World Race. I decided His plans were more important to me than my desire to have all the answers about where life is headed.
And now I have the same opportunity in front of me again.
God has been nudging me toward a discipleship and training program with Adventures In Missions called CGA and I tried to shut Him down for the first few days.
It didn’t work.
He kept nudging, kept tugging, and kept confirming His desire for me to pursue another unknown destination through His church this week at Project Searchlight.
I tried to fight it and because I did, I was not excited about pursuing CGA. Not at all.
But then I made a decision.
I decided to remember how faithful God has been to me.
I decided to trust in how faithful He will continue to be.
I decided His plans are better than mine, and worth following.
I decided I wanted to pursue Jesus more than I wanted to be comfortable.
I decided to be obedient.
And let me tell you what happened. I caught a vision. I caught His vision. I have an excitement in my spirit about what is coming next in life. And the craziest part? I don’t know what the destination is and I’m okay with that.
The journey, not the destination, is what excites me. Going with Jesus as He does things in me excites me. But I had to choose His plan for this transformation to occur in me.
Obedience is hard. Until it’s not.
The moment when we have to choose is the moment where obedience is hard. But once we’ve made the choice, once we have taken the first steps, it becomes much easier. Our momentum carries us forward.
So make the choice.
I’ve made mine.
