The marquee stared down at me. What had I just walked in to?
The Walking Street in Pattaya, Thailand is unlike any other place I have ever been.
Everywhere I turned I was surrounded by scantily clad women, guys trying to sell those women to me, loud music, flashing lights, and people who were very different from me.
And yet I was drawn to them. Not like a moth is drawn to a flame or like our eyes are drawn to an accident, so horrible we can’t look away. And not in a sexual way either. I think every man I have ever known has struggled with lust at some point in their life.
There was no struggle here. It was too…wrong.
This place was completely foreign to me. And yet, the connection I felt, the thing that was drawing me to these people, was all too familiar. And I realized something. The marquee was wrong.
Bad people don’t come to Pattaya.
Broken people come to Pattaya.
Broken people like I was once. And the memory of my own brokenness connected with the souls before me on the street.
I was a missionary surrounded by a sea of men looking to satisfy a hunger, a desire deep within themselves. The same desire I have within me. It’s the thing we all long for, and will never be complete until we receive.
Love.
We were made to give and receive love. And we were meant to do that with each other, yes, but we were first made to love and be loved by Love.
God is love. He doesn’t have love. He is love.
And He is perfect love. The most perfect love we can imagine does not compare to the love God lavishes on each and every one of us.
The only difference between me and the men and women on The Walking Street is this: I have gone to Perfect Love to satisfy my need for love.
I walked down the street, moved to tears every time I caught a glimpse of the Father’s heart for these people. I saw Jesus standing on the street with His arms stretched out like He was waiting to embrace someone and He was just weeping. He was pleading with them.
“Please. Don’t choose this. Choose me. Please..”
His heart breaks for these people. My heart breaks for these people. I was moved to a point where words couldn’t express what I was feeling. I walked down the street gasping out single words.
“Jesus.”
“Why?”
“Please.”
“Help.”
“How?”
“I can’t.”
“Jesus.”
One of the many things that astounds me about God’s love is how pure and perfect it truly is. For love to be authentic and genuine it has to be a choice. For there to be a choice there has to be more than one option. Sometimes terrible options.
And because He loves us so much, so purely, so greatly, God lets us choose those terrible options. Because any other way would not provide the relationship He created us to have with Him.
By allowing us to choose darkness, death, destruction, pain, suffering, emptiness, and brokenness He increases the power and magnitude of His grace and love.
The story of Jesus is not beautiful because of what happened to Him. His innocent death, burial and resurrection does not make the story beautiful. The story of Jesus is beautiful because He chose those things. Not just because it happened.
Love is most beautiful when it’s most difficult.
Allowing someone the freedom to decide for themselves is hard, especially when they choose death.
God doesn’t let the people of the Walking Street choose that life because He doesn’t care about them. He lets them choose it because of how great His love is.
To love like God, to have great love, requires daring. It requires boldness. It requires vulnerability. To love like God means you have to be willing to be totally shut out. To be ignored.
As I walked down the street, my heart continually breaking for these people, I had all of these thoughts about love go through my head. And I realized something.
Love sucks.
Love is still the thing we are made for and it is still the best thing we will ever experience. But it sucks when we see someone rejecting what has been given so freely.
The phrase, “If you love something let it go” took on all new meaning for me that night. I never understood what that meant. Not really.
You can’t love something you are holding on to. You can only control and manipulate it.
God does not control or manipulate us. He lets us make our own decisions. Even the terrible ones. But it is because He loves us.
What God has done for us – is still doing for us – astounds me. I can never comprehend how much He truly loves me. But people have known that for thousands of years. They have also known this:
The love of God is not meant to be understood, but experienced.
“And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep His love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.” Ephesians 3:18-19
God lets us choose because of His love for us.
Choose life. Choose love.
Even when it sucks.
