Matthew 5:4
"Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.
Three months ago I felt like I was already mourning things I'd leave behind for 11 months.I was mourning leaving my family, my friends, my church family, my first home(with ac) and comfy bed, and I was mourning the thought of not having as much married people time and our privacy. However, the last month for some reason I went to a different step of grieving- denial.
Weird I know, it should have been first. I think part of it was, even being off work,
we were running around like chickens with heads cut off trying to tie up all our
loose ends. Rent our house out, get our power of attorney, bank stuff, make sure we have al lour stuff to take, phone and bill situation, and spending time with our family and friends,etc.I decided in my head denial was my favorite part of the grieving process. I made up a plan to look at each month as if it was only a month and just stay in denial for 11 months. Sounded like a great plan to me. A month isn't that bad.
My brother got married 2 days before we left. I was his best woman by the way, what what??? Haha. Anyways, that gave me the chance to see a lot of my family and spend awesome time with him and his bride. Said goodbye to my Dad and his side the next day at church. I will miss them. My dad and I have had an amazing relationship this last year and he has really become one of my best friends. This was hard also, esp on my step-mom, Sonia. My brother just got married and is moving, I'm leaving for 11 months and my little sister was off to church camp that day. Poor folks-thank goodness for my sister at home another year, ha.
(my dad and I)
(my step-mom Sonia)
After that, I know we are crazy but we spent that evening up to midnight moving the rest of our stuff out of our house so the renter could move in the next day. Thank goodness Drew's parents helped us! They were a God-send! Spent the next couple nights at my moms and then we were off. Drew's parents were going to drive us to launch with their camper. My mom drove us to meet them. We put all our stuff in the camper and truck. Hugged my mom and on my way to the truck I'm saying out loud to myself.. "Denial, denial, denial."
I get in and I have the biggest longing to just run back to my mom and hug her again. I told my Mother-in-law that and she quickly said, "Do it!" So I run back she opens her door and we hug and I just start sobbing. 11 months without my mom! It hit me all at once. I'm a Mama's girl. My mom is one of my favorite people in the whole world. I admire her for so many reasons. She is one of my biggest fans, she's godly, smart, wise, funny and I just enjoy being around her.
(Mom-Just want you to know that I'm so thankful that you are my mom. I'm thankful for you rearing us to follow God and for trusting God and giving us over to Him. Thankful for your continuous powerful prayers for us. You have loved us so well and supported us in everyway you know how. I miss you so much and want you to know we pray for you too!)
So anyways, got back in the truck and my Mother-in-law and I are both bawling. Here's the thing-she and I are both sympathy criers! lol. So we would look at each other and just start crying again. Drew and his Pop finally said, "Y'all stop looking at each other." haha… oh denial. Where did go?
We had a great trip up to launch hanging out with Drew's family. We even went to a Pizza Hut (pizza is Drew's fav.) Made it to Atlanta- ghetto part of Atlanta. Went to a wing place and got wings, chinese food, and gyro from there, haha. We finally arrived and they prayed for us. The crying started again. His parents are so cool. They are as mission minded as we are and its just a blessing to spend time together.
(Drew's Mom and Pop)
Well this was it! We would have a few more days of training and off we go! So many emotions. This is what we have been waiting for for so long. We were scared, nervous, excited, anxious, sad, elated. Most of all I'm just at peace to do what we feel called to do-go! To clothe the naked, love the poor, hold babies, spread the gospel, to just love. I'm not sure why God has given us this chance to love people all around the world and be used, but I'm so thankful. I'm thankful that as big as He is (knowing
He doesn't need us) He chose to you us! He is my everything and is worth it all! Praise Him! He gives and takes away. He goes before us, is always with us, and sings over us. Oh praise Him!
What has He called you to do? It may be hard, but if you obey it will be worth it all 🙂
