Sometimes you just need to cry.
We have just begun month 10 of the World Race. Since the beginning of July we have experienced varying levels of discomfort, travelled in more methods than we can remember, said innumerable ‘goodbyes,’ dug up shrubs, been stretched and pushed relentlessly, spent 275+ nights in countless beds that are not our own, eaten things that kindergarteners name “Hammy,” painted buildings, shared the Gospel with crowds and individuals, learned how to communicate with grunts and hand signals, …
We’re tired.
Last month, in Peru, some of us faced challenges with the language barrier, others struggled with a lack of running water. At the end of the month, many of us had parents come to visit us for Parent Vision Trip. For the last day of PVT, we travelled 3.5 hours to Lima for a free day with our parents. Immediately following PVT we had Leadership Development Weekend. Of course, as we were leaving Lima, one of our cabs missed the bus station, and we ended up having to hold the bus until our whole squad had arrived. LDW was in Cusco. A 24 hour drive from Lima. Over the Andes. Many of us got sick as we crossed the mountain range. We squeezed two days worth of LDW into one day so that some of us could use the second day to visit Machu Picchu. We left Cusco around 0400, travelled 4 hours to Machu Picchu, spent several hours in the sun, some of us hiked one of the mountains at 8,000 ft, then we travelled 4 hours back to Cusco and a couple of us even had a late dinner with the parents.
The next evening we hopped on a bus to La Paz, Bolivia. Of course, it wouldn’t be a real travel day without a little excitement: one of our squadmates was cleared to travel around 2000, but then there were some challenges with payment, so a couple of folks had to rush over to the office to pay and then all of them return to the bus station, just in time to load up and head out. It was supposed to be a 12 hour trip, mostly over night. And it was around 12 hours of driving. But we spent 5 hours at the border. When we did finally reach La Paz, the hostel had given away our rooms because we did not arrive when expected. Then some of our folks had to go to various bus stations to get tickets for the following day. That night we had an hour-long cultural orientation.
So if I told you that the next morning I was exhausted and needed to sit down and cry for a bit, not one of you would judge me for it. So why is it that we will not extend the same grace to ourselves? Why do we feel the need to meet everyone’s expectations? Why do we feel like we are failing if we need to rest? There is a lot to be said for knowing how to rest well within the responsibilities and circumstances that we are given. But there are times when things pile up for which you are unprepared and perhaps unequipped, when we may have to step back from our responsibilities for a moment, where the best thing for you and for your companions is for you to not take on anything else.
And in those moments, it’s ok to not be ok.
