So before we leave the states we had our first debrief and got to know each other on the team in a deeper level. We are all looking for something in each other. For me it I was looking for a family. Yes I do love the family I have but I was looking for more. The fact that I have two guys on my team was going to be somewhat hard for me. Why you may ask? Because since I was 14 years old I grew up without any guy in my life I lost my dad and my brother went to college so I never got to see him that much. So I grew up to be very independent and not really relying on guys.
So I let my team know that I am happy to be on the team I just need a little help on some things. They are all in to help me and anyone else on the team. But I did not think I was going to be crying in front of everyone which is not my favorite thing to do. A squad leader said to me Drea you have two angels with you. Okay I was the only respond I had to give to the squad leader and thought that person is crazy.
But after we left the hotel where debrief was located so many thoughts came to my mind. That one the squad leader that told me I have two angles is crazy, second are these angels with me 24/7 or do they leave and come back whenever and third thing is what in the world am I getting myself into.
Doubt started to enter into my thoughts. That maybe I should not be going on this trip because I forgot so many things I wish that I packed. Also the fact that the last week I had off from work all I did was run errands and not really spend time with family or friends. Also I really did not reconnect with God when being home from training camp. That I went back with my normal routine and never gave God any time. So feeling that I am not spiritual like everyone else when it comes looking around the room.
Also another fact that is a squad leader put this thought about angels in my mind. Not even thing about angels and knowing that they are with me. Double thing about this true and realizing that a whole of craziness is about to happen. But this craziness is going to be for good.
