When I started The World Race, I received a Keys For the Journey necklace. When you get one of these key necklaces, you have the opportunity to get a prophetic word imprinted on the key itself. The word on my key: Joyous.
When I received my key and read my word for the first time, I was like “oh man”. Joy is something I don’t feel too often. I also don’t consider myself a very joyous person. You may see me and say to yourself… “wow, he is so happy and always smiling”. At least, that’s what I have been told what people see when they meet me.
The truth is, I struggle and sometimes I put on a happy face because I felt if people knew how I’m really feeling, it would push people away. So If I hold it in, all the anger, all the sadness, it would go away and people would like me. But really holding it in and letting it build inside of me has caused me to become increasingly angry and sad. Which then causes me to push others away.
While being on The Race, God has been working in me in many ways. Something big, I think, He has been working in me is learning to give others a chance and let people in. That I don’t have to go through this alone.
My first two to three months on the race, we were in the USA. We Started in Chicago and then went to Wisconsin. During that time, I really struggled to let people in to talk about how I was feeling. So I eventually just didn’t try to go to anyone, which was the wrong move to make. Thankfully, God was watching out for me and put me in a squad and team full of amazing people. By the end of Wisconsin, I was more comfortable and talkative with everyone. I was also realizing things about joy/being joyous and what It means to me.
Joyous to me means that even in the hard times, you can still find a time of joy. Even If its just a sliver of joy. It can still give me the perseverance to get through to the next day because I know there is good out there, I just can’t give up while searching for it. There are always going to be times that are tougher than others, but there is also always joy, no matter how small.
One day while we were in Wisconsin, I felt convicted by the Holy Spirit. My heart started beating so fast and I felt I should give away my key. So I did. I gave it to some one I think very highly of, an amazing friend. I don’t want this person to ever forget how much joy they carry. Everywhere they go, they can light up the room, even in the not so good times.
I still struggle with letting people in, but things are gradually getting better. It’s a process, but I am starting to talk and trust others more. I’ll leave you with this.
One day a good friend and I were talking, and she reminded me of Robin Williams. He was in so many movies and most of them he was a character full of joy, jokes and fun. He was always happy. But in reality on the inside he was sad and maybe lonely. In August 2014 Robin Williams committed suicide. I shared this because it is so important to let it out and share with others how you are feeling. Don’t hold it in. Holding it in will just cause the feelings to grow, and at some point you may run out of room and go over the edge. So take off the mask. Trust God. Let people in. People may surprise you. Minister to each other, carry one another’s burdens. That’s a part of being in community and what being the church is about.
Joy/being joyous doesn’t mean you have to feel happy all the time. It’s something that you search for. If you let anger and sadness blind you, you may go through your entire life without finding joy. So don’t get discouraged if you find it and it goes away. That’s harder said than done. Believe me, I know. But use that joy you felt for that short amount of time to get you through knowing that there is really something out there worthing going on for. Someone worth going on for. That someone is Jesus.
Thanks for reading.
- Drake
