Live it Out

I’ve always called myself a Christian – even in my darkest times spiritually, I’ve never shied away from that name.  I’ve been proud to call myself one of God’s children since I was first brought to Christ at a very young age.  I’ve always eagerly answered, “Yes, I’m a Christian” – if you asked.  I don’t think I’ve ever once expressed my beliefs without being asked about them first.  Part of that is my desire to avoid ‘pressing my beliefs on people’ because that’s frowned on in the circles I frequent, but to be honest a larger part of it is that I’ve been just plain scared to share my faith.  What happens if my God gets rejected?  What happens if I get rejected?  I might stress or lose relationships, I might lose the esteem of my colleagues or friends, I might even look stupid!  These are pretty petty fears to write them out, but it’s the truth – I don’t have any confidence that I’ll be accepted if I start to talk about Jesus, and without that I’m too scared to speak out.

What I’ve learned this month might never fit into words.  God has forced me to question everything I think I know about Him and everything I think I should know about Him.  I’m starting to learn a little of who I am in Him, and what it means to walk with Him.  Mainly I’m learning this: following God is a all-or-nothing commitment.  It’s not enough to be a Christian who sometimes hands God a few parts of his life.  A lukewarm Christian is offensive to God – He will “…spit you out of [His] mouth”! (Rev. 3:16)  I’m beginning to recognize that Jesus didn’t call out to Peter as he was fishing and ask if he could put a bumper sticker on the back of his boat.  Jesus didn’t ask Andrew to come hang out for a few hours once a week and maybe have dinner on Wednesday nights.  Jesus didn’t ask James to give Him 40 hours a week plus some overtime!  He didn’t walk up to Levi at his tax booth and say, “Hey, can you check with your boss and maybe wiggle a couple weeks of time off to hang out?”  Jesus never put any restrictions on His call.  There are no limits when He says, “Follow Me.”  He doesn’t say “Follow Me when it’s comfortable.”  He doesn’t say, “Follow Me until you get tired, or slip up one time too many, or just don’t want to any more.”  He NEVER said, “Follow Me only as much as you think is good for you, and we’ll call it even.”

The fact is, the truth of Jesus Christ is so earth-shattering that if you do not believe it so much that it suffuses your entire life – every aspect of your being no matter how tiny – you may as well not believe at all.  A life with reserves is a life God isn’t interested in using.  A life with boundaries on how God can use you is a life of completely missing out of the blessings of being used to further God’s plan.  I believe in a God who is so impossibly, unfathomably, incomprehensibly loving that He handcrafted every part of me and wants to use all of those parts to glorify Him.  If I believed in a god who didn’t really care about some parts of me, I’d be believing in a pretty pathetic deity – but the God I know, by very fact of His incredible love, requires a total commitment.  The reality of a God who is in total control of every aspect of my life means, intrinsically, that no part of my life can be withheld if I desire to truly follow Him.

The flip side of that coin – and no less important – is what God expects you to DO in His service.  Just as you cannot give Him part of your life and call yourself His follower, neither can you pick and choose which parts of His instruction you follow.  Jesus is our ultimate role model, and He did not show up on Earth a grown man, walk up to the cross and do His thing, then go back to Heaven.  As incredibly important as His atoning death is, Jesus spent by far the greatest portion of His time on earth in ministry.  He went to the poor, the sick, the lame and the outcasts of society, and He healed their wounds and restored their spirits.  He fed the hungry, He encouraged the oppressed, and HE PREACHED at every opportunity the truth of the Kingdom of Heaven.

When was the last time you told someone about Jesus?  Maybe you did so pretty recently – and that’s great!  For me, it’s been over a year.  I’m not proud of that in any way, and it’s humbling and a bit embarassing.  I can’t say I’ve been living like a real servant of God for much of my life.  I am certain though that if I were to investigate my life based on the standard of Jesus, that would be small indeed in my list of ways I lacked.

When was the last time I sold even some of my possessions to give the money to the poor?  When was the last time I visited those in prison?  When was the last time I was persecuted for the sake of God’s Name?  When have I ever healed the sick, raised the dead, given sight to the blind, or called the lame to walk for the glory of God?  When was the last time I honestly tried to fulfil a fraction of all the things Jesus said to do – preach the good news, comfort the oppressed, have compassion on the poor and hungry?

If I am to live a life that indicates that I am a child of God – a disciple of Jesus the Christ – can I live it any more in timidity?  Can I ignore the poor of this world, although it might cost me every possession I have to show God’s love to them?  Can I hide my face when I hear of injustice and sickness, even though it might require incredible sacrifice to bring God’s light into those dark places?  Can I shy away from sharing the Gospel of Jesus with even one single person in my life because I am afraid of ridicule or of losing friendships?

My eyes have been opened to see that God never called me to live a partially committed life.  God never asked to use some of my life and let me handle the rest.  God has always INSISTED that I choose: 

or Nothing.

And I am determined to refuse a life of nothing.

This is one of a series of blogs I’ve posted recently.  If you missed any of them, use these links to catch up:    Home Sweet Jungle | Working With the People Nobody Else Will | Beautiful are the Feet | Clearing Stumps | Live it Out

Finance update:  I am in need of an additional $3,466 to meet my April 1 funding deadline of $10,000.  The total $14,300 cost of the trip will be needed by June, but please don’t wait until the last minute.  You can donate online with this link or send a check to