The Hurt and The Healer Collide

Training Camp is over. It's been a solid two days since I left my L Squad family. I have to say I miss them so much already. It's crazy how 66 individuals can come together and in a weeks time become a family. I love it! Who know it would be so hard to write about one of the most powerful weeks of your life. I have written this blog out about 30 different times and so far none of them have turned out the way I wanted. So lets hope this one is a keeper. 

This past week was by far the hardest week of my life. Going into training camp I had no idea what was going to take place. I knew there would be eating weird foods and sleeping in random locations, but to be honest that was about it. I went into the week thinking everything about me was great. I hadn't planned on dealing with anything major maybe a few things here and there but dealing with emotional baggage was out of the picture. I had dealt with my baggage before. That part of my story was behind me. I thought I had taken care of it all years ago. But boy was I wrong. 

From day one, God starting breaking away at the wall I had built up around my heart until it broke into a million little pieces. In this time of brokenness, I was able to dig up old wounds that had be festering inside of me for years. I was able to put these things behind me and let go of them for good now so I can truly be healed, which is still happening. God used my teammate, squad leaders, and himself to speak truth into me. He showed me I am worthy of His love, my identity is in Him and not what I had done in the past. I am beautiful no matter how many scares I have, seen or unseen. I am His daughter and that makes me royalty. I have never felt so at peace with who I am. And I LOVE it! 

It's crazy to think that God is able to break us and then build us back together better than before. This time of brokenness was worth every ounce of pain and hurt because now I have freedom in Christ like never before.