I woke up this morning in Nepal on my 27th birthday to Father saying, “Before you were even in your mothers womb I knew you and loved you! I called you by name. My love is massive and unshakable and it destroys everything else that comes against it. My plans for you are greater than your biggest dreams. Happy Birthday my beautiful daughter.”
As I reflect on my life today I can’t help but be brought to tears by Gods grace, mercy, love and favor on my life. I’m taken back to 6.5 years ago when I almost took my own life. Addiction overtook me, depression consumed me and no matter what I tried to do to numb the pain and emptiness in my life, it didn’t work. I had nothing to live for, no hope in my life. I used and abused people as they used and abused me. Bitterness and hurt ruled my life. Rejection and abandonment was my cry. Drugs numbed but for moments then I had to come down off that high and feel again.
Moments before almost taking my own life, I had this epic vision with all these people of all nationalities surrounding me. Father spoke so much to me in that moment, I ended up on the floor sobbing. A week later I remember Father pursuing me, as always, telling me of His love for me! I was so angry at Him, so broken. But, even in my darkest hours, He never left me! His love can’t and won’t be shaken. There is nothing we could ever do that would separate us from this unconditional love. He loved me for who He created me to be, a daughter, although I was living for less. It didn’t change His love or pursuit after me. I remember crying out and saying, “God, I’m too far, I’m addicted, messed up, there is too much.” So gently He told me that if I took the first step and surrendered that He would take the rest! That’s the day I ran into the arms of Jesus and I’ve never looked back! Addiction for anything less than Him was instantly broken off my life and as Jesus romanced me we began to walk gracefully together through the hurt and the wounds were healed. He restored everything in my life! I no longer had to live for less than all He created me to be! I could now live in complete freedom, the freedom Jesus gave us by giving His life. No more striving for freedom, no more striving to be a daughter. I could live from that place now! His life given paid for everything! When He said, “It is finished,” He meant it. Everything! Fear was broken, worry was broken, sin was broken! The question remains.. what will we do with what we have been given? Will we live from our place of freedom? From our place of sonship?
As I reflect today about the fact that I’m alive.. That I get to love people everyday.. I get to live life with eyes wide open, heart poured out.. Love the ones who others have thrown away, I was that girl.. Now I have the honor to love each person and see them for who they were created to be and not what their current situation is. I get to speak life, see walls broken down by pure and simple love. I get to hug broken people everyday with the Fathers embrace. I get to give my life for people to know His love! From America to the nations! I get to SEE people who feel invisible and tell them their worth, His life. Love looks different everyday and everyday I wake up in His Love and get to be love for the world, the next person I meet. Many people want to change the world, seeing it as a whole makes it look impossible but what if you see the world as the next person you meet and you simply love them, it will change their life and you will be changing the world! What can I say? Thank you Father for another beautiful and breath-taking year in your arms, living out of your heart for the world! Adventures with Jesus, being love never gets old! Live with eyes wide open and experience His beauty!
