This is a story of man who followed Jesus into the unknown to meet a young girl, who was a complete stranger. This is a story of radical obedience.
She was dressed in a long red gown. A red square hat sat on her head with a golden tassel dangling from the top of her head glimmering with the year of 2011. She had fear in her eyes as she stared into her future with her mind filled with wonder. Sitting in her structured row with all of her peers she noticed out of her peripheral a sweet man in the crowd waving his hands and smiling the most joyful smile as if he knew exactly who he was looking at. She looked around in confusion to see just who exactly was making this man burst with glee. She looked to her left, her right, behind her and didn’t see anyone waving back at this poor man, so with hesitation she lifted her hand and gave him a little grin back.
After walking across the stage into a new chapter of her life the man was there to greet her. He proceeded to shake her hand and introduced himself as “uncle Garland”. If you could have seen the shock in her eyes in realization of who “uncle Garland” was you would have thought she had just been tasered. Everything in her body froze into place along with the rest of the room.
For you see at the young age of three I, the girl, was adopted by a sweet sweet man whom I would call “daddy”. A man who stepped in and loved me like his own. A man who took on a role that is beyond admirable. Someone who would protect me, love me, and provide for me no matter what. Naturally tho, my heart couldn’t help but wonder about the blank slate. The one who chose to walk away.
On my high school graduation day I had met “uncle Garland”. He was patient, intentional and persistent. He made visits to have dinner and talk about the Lord like He was sitting there with us. We talked about life and what we thought it would look like after a few years.
It was through uncle Garlands obedience that the unshakable nudging of the Lord said “now is the time, go see him”. So, at the age of 18, I went and met the man I had always wondered about. My biological father.
As I am writing this in a quaint little coffee shop in Burgas, Bulgaria, I am reminded of that life changing day. The day my eyes met his. But more than anything I am reminded of the vastness of our heavenly father. I am reminded that I serve an all knowing, steadfast, powerful, God who protects our hearts before we realize what is happening. I am reminded of sitting in front of uncle Garland telling him my plans. I remember the tender voice of the same God that spoke to Garland telling me that “now is the time”. And oh, am I ever so grateful that the Lord directed me to meet him in that divine moment. I am thankful that His plans trumps my plans.
Isaiah 41:10 “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”
While writing this there are tears streaming down my face. Feel free to cry with me as I share in vulnerability about the month of September. Last month was one of those months that held a plethora of conflicting emotions as I received a call in the middle of the night saying that they had lost my father. The intense shock I felt while opening my eyes and trying to gather what had just been said is indefinable. As I climbed out of my bunk I lathargically went to search for my lap top and called my mom to confirm the loss of my father. She empathetically confirmed that it was true. With the bombshell that had been dropped with only being gone from the states for 1 month and a half and the confusion of “why now” the Lord began to comfort me and grow me.
Psalm 34:17-18 “The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”
As I mourned his loss I was reminded by my heavenly father as he held me in his sweet arms of the preservation He so graciously gave me by using Uncle Garland and his obedience in seeking me, the itinerant girl. I am so very humbled when I look in the face of obedience. It is such a beautiful process. On Sep. 17th I turned 23. I am so thankful that five years ago I chose to trust the tender voice of my heavenly father and my heavenly father chose to speak so tenderly to me. More than anything I am thankful for you, Uncle Garland, a man of truth, obedience, and a man who is fierce in his faith. A man after Gods own heart. If it wasn’t for your obedience, I may have never met my earthy father. Obedience can be earth shattering, life changing, and lead us into places where we can’t contain ourselves because of the realization of the audacious love the father has for us. It leaves us bursting with humble solitude at His feet. I don’t know about you but I live for those moments. Moments of concrete purpose.
Five years ago I would of never guessed, in a million years, that I would be in Draganesti-Olt, Romania surrounded by 44 other kingdom shaking people. But the Lord new I would need to be surrounded in community. I will forever remember the night the Lord used His same tender voice in nudging me into vulnerability in sharing with the whole squad about my loss. With in seconds 44 hands were laid on me praying over my heart, my family, and ultimately just loving me right where I was. As my squad mates where praying over me I distinctly remember feeling a weight being lifted off. After praying, some embraced me with a hug, others spoke life into me by giving me scripture, and others just simply wept with me. The thing with vulnerability is it requires courage but with in that courage comes intimacy and allows others to come along side of you to help you stand when you feel like every bit of the air has been knocked out of you, they are there to breath the life of Jesus back into you. The body of Christ is dazzling if we allow our selves to be humbled so it can shine like its supposed too.
“Your love can’t be outdone. A love that You never withhold. You are constant, always with me. In Your presence I am home. You never let go. You pull me in close.”
The Lord and his impeccable timing knew exactly what he was doing 5 years ago. I am thankful for a God who treats me like I am His fragile master piece. I am thankful for the freedom that He allows me to walk in even when the pieces seem to be crumbling right at my feet. I am thankful for community. He truly is a good, good, father. Majestic and holy in all His ways. I am thankful for vulnerability but I am truly thankful for obedience. With out obedience there isn’t vulnerability, without vulnerability there isn’t intimacy, with out intimacy there isn’t healing, with out healing there isn’t freedom. And only freedom is found in Christ. Lay it at His feet.
But whoever looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues in it—not forgetting what they have heard, but doing it—they will be blessed in what they do. James 1:25
