“Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him.” James 1:12
The beauty of this verse is captivating in so many ways to me. One being, how it captures my heart in taking me back to when I first said yes to this journey. While the glitz and the glamor of traveling the world and experiencing various cultures was obviously very appealing and certainly drew me in with what the naked eye could see, I couldn’t shake the voice inside of me saying “now is the time”. I knew what my Abba was calling me to was so much greater than myself.
My sweet beloved through His divine sovereignty was already preparing my heart for what I was about to experience. He told me there would be a lot of discomfort and long hard days. I would have to let go of things and people that I loved dearly. I knew that this would be a season of healing and radical growth. I knew by saying yes my whole life was about to change.
Our lives are meant to declare Gods work and that should never look comfortable, the supernatural of Jesus should be flowing from our very finger tips leaving His love on everything we touch.
I remember the first night at our new home in Botswana feeling very uneasy. Our host had told us that Mahalapye wasn’t a safe city but lack of space intrigued us to sleep outside in our tents, mind you, we were gated in with a fence that surrounded us. As I lay under the stars the first night I remember my sweet beloved reminding me of the word steadfast-perseverance He had given me just days prior to arriving in the city. The heaviness of spiritual war-fair that lingered in the air was unreal and left a very stale and stagnant taste in our mouths. Every night was a battle trying to sleep.
On the third night , as I went to lay my head down, looking up at the stars I was reminded of who sits on the throne, I prayed for safety as the uneasiness was breathtaking. Every bone in my body told me something just wasn’t right. As I began to fall asleep I would wake thinking I heard footsteps outside my tent. Each time I dozed off I woke up frozen in fear from the dreams that I was having about men climbing the fence that surrounded us for our “safety”, the men were lurking around the place with the intentions to either harm or rob us. As we woke (in the dream) the men ran behind the house our host was staying in to escape. I could see it all so clearly. I woke up breathless and shaking in complete fear. As I tried shaking the fear that was running through my veins into the very depths of my bones, I finally dozed back off. In my second dream a member from my squad told me to “trust my dreams, they were valid.” Again, I woke up frozen in place, completely terrified to move, I laid there and prayed for safety. I finally gathered myself enough to be able to speak my teammate Jenny’s name, as she was the closest to me. I cautiously gathered my things and went into her tent, knowing that the dreams weren’t just “bad dreams”, they were a warning. A warning for our safety.
“Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings. I cling to you; your right hand upholds me.” Psalm 63:7-8
The very next night we were robbed. I was so tired from the previous night that I fell into a deep slumber rather quickly. I was awakened by the voice of my teammate Faith screaming my name in a blood curdaling tone. Immediately, I knew; I felt noxious as she proceeded to say “There is a man at my tent, he touched me!” All I could hear was the terror in her voice and Jenny’s as she screamed for “help!” several times. All I could think about was the dreams that I had the night before. I crawled out of my tent with a gut wrenching feeling, I looked at sweet Faith as tears streamed down her face and every limb on her body was trembling.
The man had cut a small hole in her tent, a hole big enough for his hand to fit through so he could seek for whatever he thought he needed, in doing so he bumped her leg. As she screamed in terror the man took the items he could find (her phone and kindle) and bolted for the hole he had cut in our fence to enter. In the mean time something told me to go look at my tent, my heart was beating so fast for fear of what I would find. As my eyes met the door to my tent, my heart sank. I felt my stomach drop to my knees once again as I stared through the gaping hole that was centered for his hand to slip through. I couldn’t believe it, I had slept through the entire thing. Never waking as he searched for my things just inches away from me. In a panic I had someone else look to see if any of my things were gone, knowing he had robbed me of everything. To my surprise nothing had been stolen. I believe with every fiber of my being that Jesus was laying beside me that night. He put a shield around His daughters for no harm to be done. Because He is our Abba, our daddy, our protecter, our provider. He never leaves or forsakes us. Oh, how He loves us.
Nothing can come against, nothing can stand between the love that He has for us.
I have never been so thankful for His hand of protection in my life. The way He so gallantly spoke to me the night before in my dreams. Jesus says; “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you” Matthew 7:7. This journey has been one to take me deeper and deeper in relationship with the one who goes before me, leaving me thirsty for His living water and hungry for His word, teaching me to be in bolder and deeper prayer about everything. “Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done” Philippians 4:6. Before this month began I asked the Lord to speak to me in dreams and through scripture. He gave me the verse:
Joshua 1:9 “Be strong and courageous, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”
And a dream that called me out beyond the shore into the waves, flooding me with His grace and helping me trust Him with every step. I am learning what it is like to not walk in a spirit of fear but rather an audacious undaunted walk hand and hand with with the one who reigns. The one who has victory over all situations. He doesn’t call us into comfortability but rather a journey that captivates our heart and catapults us into a spirit of radical trust even when things look messy and daunting. For these are the situations that bring us closer to the heart of the All Powerful, Almighty Creator.
“I only know that in every city the Holy Spirit warns me that prison and hardships are facing me. However, I consider my life worth nothing to me; my only aim is to finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me-the task of testifying to the good news of God’s grace.” Acts 20:23-24 (Paul)
May we be women and men who walk in undaunted courage with the one who goes before us on this beautiful journey.
