Launch was incredible. It was great to get back into the World Race culture and spend time with my fellow racers who have become my brothers and sisters. We had great sessions to get prepared for life on the race and some very powerful worship times. All of our sessions were at a hotel that was a 10-15 minute walk from our campsite.
One of the hardest nights on Launch was when our usual conference room was booked and they gave us an open room in part of the bar at the hotel restaurant. We found our seats on chairs that were covered in red or black suede/velvet material and then stood up to start our evening session with worship. So basically, there were around 100 World Race participants, coaches and staff singing their hearts out and worshipping God in the middle of a bar in Ireland. We drowned out the background music playing on the speakers overhead and probably everyone in the restaurant and on the main floor of that hotel could hear us.
It was really hard for me at first because I felt embarrassed and my fear of man and what others think of me was in full force. I worried about our group getting kicked out of the hotel, if we would drive away business from the restaurant, disturb the hotel guests and what people would think of these Americans (and a few Canadians) singing so loudly and raising their hands, shouting, cheering and praying over each other. We were just so LOUD! What were people going to think?
But then I decided it didn’t matter.
I thought about the scope of eternity. Jesus sacrificed absolutely everything for me on the cross and one day when I stand before Him, I don’t want to tell him I was too embarrassed to worship Him outside of my safe church walls or behind the closed doors of a conference room with a bunch of people who are doing the same thing and are on the same page. I don’t want to deny my Savior who has given me so much to sing about. I can’t stand before Him and tell Him that I couldn’t take Him public because I was too afraid of what people would think of me. He is worth so much more to me than that. He’s worth more than my fears and insecurities. I can’t serve God and man and if given the choice, I choose God. I know I’ll always wrestle with this and sometimes I’ll make the wrong choice, but I know He’s always waiting to take me back, give me grace and let me have the chance to choose again.
So I made the choice to fully commit to worship and I had so much JOY! It was incredible! I couldn’t help but smile and sometimes even laugh as I’d look around the room and see my teammates worshipping with complete abandon as people walked past, giving us all sorts of different looks. But now I didn’t care what they thought. I only wondered if God was speaking to them and if He was using us to be a very visual witness. I wondered what they thought of a room full of sold out adults worshipping God and if that challenged them to want to be passionate about something too. I hope that it made them think about God and where they’re personally at with Him. I wonder if a thought might have gone something like this “Wow, look at all these people. This is kind of weird, what are they doing? Wait a minute, are they singing about God? They sure are into it. Maybe there’s something to this Jesus Christ guy that has them doing this. I haven’t been to church in awhile…maybe there’s something to this.” So instead of wondering what they thought about me, I wondered what they were thinking about God and He was using this to draw them to Himself. Amazing how perspective changes, isn’t it?
I’m so thankful that the wisdom of God is foolishness to the eyes of the world. Just because it’s a public place, doesn’t mean that God isn’t going to show up in fullness and power. The presence of God was thick in that place and it was a very powerful time of worship and prayer. It left me with a lot to think about later and challenged me a lot, but it was really good because it drove me to seek out Jesus. I love how God is always drawing all men to Himself. He’s called us to shine and be His light wherever we are. He will be seen and heard. Even if its through a bunch of kids in the middle of an Irish hotel restaurant and bar with their backpacks and Bibles on red and black velvet chairs.
Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ. – Galatians 1:10
