My Grandpa had just passed away.
I had found out he was sick about two months ago. The doctors had said he could make it for a year yet but, depending on how it goes he might only make it till Christmas. So this was definitely a surprise. Luckily, while in Turkey, I called him. This was about two weeks ago. He told me how his life is in God’s hands now and that he is completely trusting the Lord and his timing. He said that my call was an amazing surprise and it totally made his day. That made me smile. He also told me how proud he was of me and how much he loved me and loves my voice when I sing. He always called it rapping. He couldn’t wait to see me again so we could “rap” together. I’m not sure if he really knows what real rap is. I find this hilarious and I love it so much.
“So where are you right now?” he asks.
“Diyarbakir, Turkey.” I answered.
“Wow! Turkey! I wish I could come over there right now and give you a big hug and a kiss on the cheek.” he said.
So, when I found out that he had passed, I cried, slept alot, buried myself in books and stared into space for most of the day. I was allowed to break the techno ban to call home. I waited till the end of the day to call my family because I know that when you’re grieving, sleep is the only rest and the only time you can get away and not have to think or deal with reality. So since I’m 8 hours ahead and had found out in the morning, I didn’t want to call them in the middle of their night and make them even more tired than they already are from grieving.
Death is something that is still relatively new to me and my family on the personal immediate family level. It visited us last October when my other Grandpa on my Dad’s side passed. As hard as that was, it has made my family stronger. So this time around, its still painful and hard but we are better equipped to deal with it. Really the only word I can use to describe it is stronger. Thank you God for carrying us through.
My family is doing as good as they can be in this situation. Its hard to be away, but my family has released me to stay in Israel and they know that this is where I need to be right now. If they asked me to come home then I would have, but they prayed about it and felt like I needed to stay on the field. The verse they got was “let the dead bury their own dead.” A verse that I said to my teammates while we were discussing the possibility of what if I’m asked to come home just before I called my parents. This verse was also used when our squad leaders talked to us about abandonment in following Christ and the technology/communication fast that we are now on. (Except for our blogs once a week.) This brought tears to my eyes because even in this, God is here and its so clear. He is completely taking care of this. He’s got my family in his hands and me too, all the way in Israel. He is doing something in my family right now and its so incredible.
Through all of this my team was incredibly supportive. After I told them in the morning, they came around me to pray for my family and I and they hugged me. They gave me time to grieve and process and even brought me cookies and ice cream. It was really sweet of them. They told me that they are my family now and they are here for me. I can’t tell you how much that meant to me -still means to me.
