I have never been a very good listener. I evaluate the wrong in situations as if it is my duty as a friend. I’m quick to offer loads of advice and stories of my own victory and brokenness to ease other peoples pain… or perhaps my own. I began my journey in learning how to listen after a team mate very eloquently and with a sweet and kind heart shared their perspective of my lack of listening and communication skills. They encouraged me to embrace awkward silences in conversation as times where the Lord can intervene. I hate awkward silences because in the past it has made me feel the tension. The awkward realization of differences between views and personalities. In my mind that awkward pause was an indicator of weakness in the friendship. I don’t like weakness in friendships and instead of seeking growth I like that feeling to disappear. I began to watch my team mates demonstrate intense empathy and ask intentional questions to those surrounding them. I watched them embrace the awkward pauses and brokenness. They never seemed to offer advice but those speaking with them walked away with healing only God can give. The conversations grew the brokenness in the direction of healing. I began to try asking questions and start my journey in becoming a listener. At first I felt like I failed at those questions. So I did something I never do, I told the people I was speaking to I didn’t know how to listen well and I’m working on it. I then asked them what questions would fit best for their healing and started learning the needs and desires of the people I share my life with. Intentional conversation as a listener not a talker. Asking God for skills needed to help people heal. I don’t feel like myself sometimes because I am going against my first personality to embrace my godly personality. But, I have seen fruits to my labor. Not in my life, but vicariously living through the lives of others.
