I sat quietly listening by the pool at launch(further training). I felt the wet tip of a sharpie, in the hands of the woman speaking to me write on my arm.
“Captured”
She asked me to pray and press into the word to find out what that word means, when applying how God has created me. At first I couldn’t really comfortably sit with that word. It reminded me of emotions I don’t like to associate with. Emotions of a romantic pursuit. Something in some ways makes me numb. Something bubbled in my heart to press into that fear. Why was I afraid of The Lord’s pursuit of my heart? Was I taking my past and experiences with humans and pressing that falseness onto my father? Yes, perhaps so. I began to process my past with a squad mate. We talked about some hard things and some hard emotions I have shoved into a tiny corner of my heart. After I wrote some spoken word…
—Captured—
My daughter,
That first time you realized how captivated and proud of you I was…
That day I breathed life into you.
Oh, Daughter do you remember that day?
My Daddy,
Like soul mates first finding one another.
My glance heavenward ever so subtle.
I was the one who desired but did not want to be found out.
I found myself wanting you.
When I didn’t feel your gaze, like a woman falling for her deepest lover, I began to search for you.
I began to ask people who you were.
To follow the trails and footprints you scattered around the earth.
Wondering if your love for me was growing.
Not realizing that your eyes had already fixed themselves on me and you call me your own.
Your very own creation.
A perfect love.
I remember that day well.
The day I became your bride.
The captured beauty of your eye…
—
I leave tomorrow for Guatemala… Be in prayer…the adventure starts…
