Worthless. Useless. Weak. Shameful. Pathetic. Unlovable.
The list could go on. This is what the enemy would have me believe about myself. Frankly, I’m having an immensely hard time not believing those things. He is constantly attacking me. My failures are exponentially more painful because the enemy attacks in those weak moments. My successes give me less excitement or joy because the enemy doesn’t want me to celebrate myself. He wants to drag me down into depression and despair.
These spiritual battles aren’t just hurting me; they affect the people with whom I interact. The way I act changes in subtle but noticeable ways. For example, I was rock climbing with a friend of mine today, and she commented that something seemed different about me today, that something was off. She asked if I was doing okay. I didn’t know how to react. I hadn’t noticed I was being any different than normal. After she told me that, though, I realized that I’d had a hurtful attitude towards her, and a meaner sense of humor. I told her it was because I’m so anxious and ready to go on my Race, which is very true, but it isn’t the reason I was acting different.
I’m going through an exhausting spiritual battle right now. The enemy is trying to take me down at every possible opportunity. Sometimes it feels completely hopeless to fight back. I think to myself, how could I ever hope to have victory?
That’s exactly where Satan wants me to be. He wants me to believe that I’ve lost, that my Father has abandoned me, and that I am useless and unlovable. Scripture, however, tells a different story.
Romans 8:37-39 says, “No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
No power in all creation has the ability to separate me from the love of God. No matter what I face in life, Abba Father will always love me and never abandon me. I am a conqueror! I have victory because Christ already won victory over death and over the enemy on the cross!
Spiritual warfare is a reality. I was taken by surprise when the magnitude of the spiritual battle I was in became clear to me. Many of us face these battles and don’t realize what is really happening. Satan will attack, and we have to be prepared to fight back. He doesn’t want us to spread God’s Kingdom. He doesn’t want the nations to hear of God’s love. No matter how hard Satan fights, though, we have the Lord of all Creation on our side and nothing can defeat us.
This isn’t to say I’ve overcome my trials. I’m still in the midst of the fight. I need prayer now more than ever. I let my guard down for too long waiting for launch. It’s time I start looking to my heavenly Father and fighting back against the enemy.
Please be in prayer for me and my squad as we prepare for our journey. We have just a month before we launch, and we all need prayer during this time.
