“What are you two beautiful ladies doing up so early?”
Debrief was wonderful and so full of God moments. So please hear my heart in that so much good came from debrief. I wrote about it in a couple of my posts on Instagram. The Lord definitely moved in the squads time at Jaco Beach, but there was a darkness there. Jaco is the party town where the smell of weed and the sight of drunken people on the beach is the normal. It’s where people go to “have a good time”. The town broke my heart. And here’s some reasons why…
The objectification of women is super prevalent all throughout Costa Rica, but was felt way more in Jaco. Walking down the streets to grab food from the grocery or walking to a restaurant to eat I felt like a piece of meat. Being an American we already made more of a scene, but being American women caught even more attention. Whistling and remarks from the men along with an unashamed up and down of our bodies was the usual when us girls went out. The shops with clothing for women held very promiscuous clothing and unrealistic standards are held in the mannequins displaying the clothing. Bars and a strip club were also the sights you’d see on the main strip.
I’ve never seen prostitution firsthand before. I’ve always known the dangers of it and been aware of it in the States, but just have never seen it with my own two eyes. In Jaco I had my first experience of watching a “transaction” go down and it broke my heart. I wanted to pound the men into the ground. I am so angry for these women. It’s hard for me because I know the Lord loves the men who abuse the women just as much as he loves any other human. One day a pimp brought five girls to the beach and was slapping their butts and saying horrible things to the girls. He had his phone out taking pictures of them in their bikinis. Not going to lie I naively thought at first it was just a father with his daughters until I got closer and realized the horror of what it actually was. Another night coming back from walking on the beach at night I saw two prostitutes leaving a house close to our hostel. They both put their flip flops on and put their heels in the bags they carried and walked right by us down the street. At night I also noticed how you’d hear loud honking sounds from cars. I soon realized that it was the signal that it was time for the women to leave the men’s company for the evening.
A girl from my squad and I got up at 6:00 one morning to spend time with the Lord on the beach. Here’s where the comment I started the blog comes in. A man probably close to his 40’s walked over to us. Keep in mind no one else was on the beach this early. It was just her and I. He begins to ask us questions about where we are staying, our names, where we are from. Then uses all the flattery and makes flirty remarks towards us. He invited us back to his house to party. I didn’t feel unsafe, but he made me feel uncomfortable with the amount of attention he was giving us and the fact he was still a little drunk from the night before. He finally moved along but said he’d be back. About the time he left a couple guys from our squad came out to the beach. The man did come back and sat down beside us. The boys came to rescue us and immediately this mans demeanor changed. He stood up, stopped talking to us and talked only to the guys. He stopped saying things about our looks and began to respect us better. Fast forward two days later this man found me on the beach and tried to start up a conversation again. This time he was a little high. The whole thing just put me on edge.
The cool thing is that those working at the hostel could tell that something was different about our group. That we carried so much joy about us. We didn’t need alcohol, sex, or drugs to make us feel something. We aren’t numb to our emotions and we weren’t out for the nights we wouldn’t be able to fully remember. It’s hard because I wanted to grab each person and give them this huge hug and just infuse the peace and warmth and joy and calmness that I feel inside into them. For them to just feel what they could feel with what I’ve found in Jesus.
For those of you reading through it maybe you feel the sadness of what I saw also. As I pondered everything I had seen, I realized that all of these things are just as prevalent in the United Sates. We just hide it all better and gloss it over. Sex is huge in our culture along with the acceptance of pornography. The use of alcohol to have a “good time” and the use of drugs is just as much of a thing in the United States too. I’ve never been a party girl. (Haha I’m sure most of you know that) but I have experienced some of these things and while in the moment of it all I didn’t know the need of what my soul truly wanted. I thought I was feeling more than I ever had, but looking back I can see how I was creating an illusion of sorts in a way for myself. I’d feel for the moment, but a couple days later I’d be numbing the guilt from it until one day I didn’t feel guilt only numb.
It’s not silly to want the Creator. It doesn’t make you weak or less cool. Being with Jesus allows you to breathe. To truly breathe. It stills your heart. It makes you cry, but brings laughter. Jesus is rain to me. Sometimes He comes down softly and kisses your skin with wetness. Other times He comes down on your heart hard and that kind of rain brings flooding washing parts of your heart anew. Sometimes His rain is kinda windy and you feel a little unsure of His promises, but let me tell you He’s so faithful to give you a rainbow in those times to remind of His promises to you. That’s only a part of why I love the rain so much and you’ll usually see me dancing in it. Being with Jesus means no more feelings of hurt over rejection because you know you’re chosen by him! Being with Jesus means you have a Father, Lover, and Friend all in one. Each day you feel or see a different character of who He is, but knowing He never changes and that He’s a rock to lean on.
I’m so thankful I don’t feel the way I used to. Jesus told me I have a soft heart. I think that’s why I feel the burden and pain so much for others. I take it onto myself way to easily. Gods working on me to cast it on him instead. To love and feel for others in a healthy way. It’s really a freeing thing giving up control over your life, because the reality is you never were in control to start with. Yes, you do have control in ways. You get to choose your perspective of life. You get to choose the decisions for yourself that lead you in life or bring death to situations or relationships around you. You get to choose joy. And most importantly you get to choose Jesus. I didn’t realize all of this was on my heart until I started writing. There’s really a lot more, but my fingers are tired of typing and I’m amazed if you’ve read through to this far, but I hope you can laugh at me in that this is your typical convo with Dest. Super chatty with a contemplative spirit (that’s what Jesus told me at least)
Hey I want you to remember there’s grace!
Blessings in your week! Oh and please feel free to reach out to me! I love hearing from everyone. Message me on Instagram, shoot me a text or email! Much love!
-Dest
