Oh my stupidity! I foolishly went back out in the sun after already burning my chest. My poor skin was fresh and new being left vulnerable from my last peeling of skin. It has sense then blistered up and turned an ugly deep red color. Then as if that wasn’t enough became rather scary and separated into white spots surrounded by red lines. I went to a pharmacy where they gave me a cream to apply.
This has been my last couple of days, but I realized that metaphorically it’s my last year. As I’ve reflected over 2018 I see how the Lord has been applying salve to my heart, mind, body, and soul. Calling me into the belief of redemption over me and that I’m pure in His sight. Healing and tearing away callus’s I’d had over my heart from scars left from others. There have been times when things and situations have stung me. But I’ve come to realize it’s only the peroxide that the Lord was allowing to help heal and close wounds left open because of my carelessness with my heart. At first it stings and you want to pull away and retreat once again into the depth of thoughts, but slowly you began to heal.
Last year on January 1 I went to Passion. One message hit me hard and I was left among the thousands of young adults sitting as I was wrecked. I sat sobbing! Christine Cain spoke on shame and then she prayed a powerful prayer over us asking for all shame to be broken. For the first time I heard Reckless Love. The words pierced my soul touching me in all the places of pain. I stood during that song with my arms high praising Jesus still not understanding, but trusting. Again, sobbing and so unaware of all the tears wracking my body.
I look back over this year and see so much of His faithfulness and so much strength in how He’s continued to reshape who I am and the way I think. He’s brought so much closure. Thank you, Jesus. I feel so much joy! My perspective of life is surreal. I’ve never felt more alive or excitement or pleasure! It’s hard to write or even speak on all that He’s done and transformed in my life this past year. I wish I could just touch you with my hand to show and transpire all that I feel from the Lord and so that you can understand what he’s done for me in my spirit.
The last week of 2018 I read Redeeming Love. It shook me because it wrapped up my year. 2018 the pursuit of the Lord. Oh the Lover of my soul. I’ve ran and ran away into the arms of other people and things but still He pursues me. This last week He spoke again the message of redemption and purity over me despite my adultery against Him. And for the first time all year I believed Him.
I’d intentionally sat in the sun and I got burnt. My skin began to peel. I then intentionally went back out into the sun, but this time my burns came back much worse. I’m sure in a week or so the salve will help heal the damage I’ve done.
Thank you Jesus for tending to the damage I had and continue to do! Thank you for chasing me. Wooing me! Pursuing me!
A couple months ago the Lord told me, “The best is yet to come.” I’m a bit giddy on what that could mean.
