When I was 17 I wondered why people went overseas to do “mission work”. I remember thinking to myself, “why would people go overseas when my next door neighbor needs Jesus?”. At that time I had no clue how my life would play out and the many stamps that would fill my passport, I was a fresh faced baby christian who spent some of her weekends doing “servant evangelism”. One of my favorite memories from that period of time was when a group of friends and myself loaded lawnmowers, weed-eaters, rakes, and shovels into the back of a few trucks and went door to door in a random neighborhood offering free yard work as a demonstration of God’s free undeserved love. I still remember standing in a circle with a lady whose yard we had just mowed, holding hands and praying for her. It was a precious time in my life.
I’ll never forget learning that the reason why one goes overseas is because God calls them to.
I have met many people who said they dreamed of living in Australia but growing up I had never even given living outside of my home state a second thought. I will never forget God calling me there of all places, to serve with Youth With a Mission for two and a half years. It was an incredible time in my life where He lit a fire in me for cultures that aren’t my own and exposed passions in me I didn’t know existed.
I have now been to somewhere around 20 countries and after next month will only have one continent left to step foot on (Antarctica). It has been beautiful and difficult, full of strange food, long bus rides, and astonishment over the various landscapes I have found myself in.
I must tell you though, when you look at my pretty pictures and see the wild enjoyment I have in exploring foreign places, what you won’t know is I cried in Target today as I picked out a little baby outfit for one of my best friends second baby that she will be having while I am gone, (I was out of the country for the birth of the last one too) that as I watch another one of my good friends stomach expand with new life, that I will also miss the birth of her first baby and the ushering in of a brand new season in her life. I will be missing two very special friends weddings (Chenea and Brie, I will celebrate with you from South America!!) and that is just a sample of the special weddings, celebrations and birthdays I will miss. I will be missing important and formative seasons in my best friends and their children lives. They will see me on a screen when I have enough of a wifi connection to call. I will miss my Mom’s birthday and sharing the holidays with my brother and my family. It will be another half of a year before I can get down to see my grandmother and aunt.
I am only gone for 6 months this time but it seems harder. I think it is because in this past season I have learned to give voice and space to grieving instead of charging right through it, “sucking it up”, and just accepting it. I have learned that it is healthy and that while there is a season for joy, for reaping, and for laughter, there is also a season for grief, for pruning, and for crying.
I love my life and I always have a choice whether to go or stay but I know that this going and coming, being in America for a season (some longer, some shorter) and then being launched into places I have never been is what I am made for. I have a heart to see not only my neighbors here in America know who God is but also my neighbors in cities whose names I find it hard to pronounce, in villages with no running water and no electricity. Not everyone finds deep joy in living out of a hiking pack, eating mysterious meat, bathing in rivers, and using travel sized Febreeze bottles as perfume (true story), but it makes me come alive. I love being at home with a shower that turns on and pours hot water and a bed that is comfortable and lights that come on when I flip a switch but I also love living by headlamp at night, the thrill of bucket showers (someone remind me this when I have had nothing but them for 2 months) and the sacrifice of sleeping on a glorified pool float (sleeping pad).
People often think what I do is a very difficult thing and while it has it’s challenges, so does living at home, they just look different. We all have hard “yes’s” we have to say, things we sacrifice, and lives we have to lay down. Our “yes’s” are worth more when they cost us more. I want to be a woman that even when it is hard, says yes.
