I always knew I would be back out in the international mission field (this is a well thought out term, why? go read my last post.. 🙂 I just wasn’t sure when. I finished a two year stint of helping plant a Youth With A Mission base almost 9 years ago and ever since then have been committed to whatever He has called me to stateside. I have waitressed, managed a embroidery shop, been a barista, helped start up a restaurant, all things I have wanted to do, felt fairly skilled at and also felt God had led me to. Every once in a while, my thoughts would turn to the nations, to places with no running water and no electricity, where white skin has not been seen and the Gospel not been preached and my conversations with God would turn into reminding Him that I would go if He would call. I have purposely set up my life over the last 10 years to be able to fold it all in and go whenever He did call me. I have no debt, no contracts, and very little personal belongings. I have never felt called to a specific country and never felt like I would live somewhere for years but knew the call to overseas was unmistakable. Not everyone feels they come alive when bathing in rivers, eating “special chicken”..(which was a snake they killed out in the yard that day) and speaking through a translator to the locals. There aren’t many who don’t mind sweating while taking a bucket shower, sleeping on a concrete floor in a mosquito net, and eating with your hands because to do so, means you are truly entering into a different culture to preach the Gospel and not just being a tourist.
I have had plenty of friends ask me about the World Race over the last two years since moving to Gainesville but my response has always been the same. I knew that God had me at the restaurant for at least two years and I didn’t even bother giving the Race a second look because I wasn’t sure that was what He had for me. I fully believe that “obedience is better than sacrifice” and I didn’t want to go, just to go. I didn’t want to send myself. 10 years ago, I never would have thought I would have lived in Australia and went to Malaysia, but I heard a clear call and obeyed and although difficult, was one of the most amazing times of my life. Ever since then, I have felt deep down in my spirit that I would be in Africa and in Nepal at some point in my life and have always wondered how it would come about.
A little over a month ago, when God nudged me to apply, I was blown away. I reached out to some of the people in my close inner circle, that love me and speak into my life often and know deep down who I am. I was encouraged to apply and see what God did. Within two weeks, I saw God stir up peoples hearts in my life, over $3,500 come in, was asked to be a team leader and now have begun to make preparations to leave the country for a year.
The last month has been a whirlwind but something is happening inside of my soul. I feel this crust on my heart slowly melting away. Joy is flooding back into places that had overgrown with the day in and day out monotony of doing what I was supposed to and even needed to do. I fully believe there are seasons and times in your life that you do things you are called to, skilled at, and even want to do but not necessarily your purpose for being on earth. Often times God uses those seasons of your life to equip you and grow you, building your character and skill set. There is a different time altogether when your skills, desires, and calling collide and you do something you feel created for and it seems to make every cell in your body hum with pure passion and joy. You lay your head down on the pillow at night with a deep satisfaction of being fully alive and you wake up with a great expectancy. I confess that I didn’t even really know that some places in my heart and life has grown dim and that there was more to be had. The crust is falling off places in my heart and it is exposing long forgotten places of dreams, hopes, and joy. I keep telling my friends that I may not make it to the race because I might just implode from all the excitement and joy coursing through me. When I applied for the race, it was merely a obedient step because I thought I heard God say go, what it is becoming is a reawakening of my heart and life.
