This is something recently I have asked the Lord to do in my life. This is also something that happened all throughout of Africa…however, it did not feel gentle.
In Africa, I felt like the Lord stretching and growing me in many ways. Spiritually in many ways, in community, in ministry, physically (the carbs, hormones, slowed metabolism really did me in) and in general he just grew me as a person. I changed and he walked me through many struggles I had avoided to face before and many struggles I didn’t even want to give up. These things were all earthly pleasures that brought me no true joy like the joy that I can receive from his kingdom. I was at a point where I thought the lies of the enemy were better than the actual truth, so I believed the lies. I was settling for fake happiness and not true life because I was scared that the pain wouldn’t make the change worth it. Which I won’t lie, the pain was painful, but it was absolutely worth it.
Throughout our time in Africa he had me cut ties with unhealthy people, learn to rid myself of pride, learn to truly find my identity in Christ and not in intelligence, athleticism, or popularity, but truly in Christ and who God created me to be, learn to have peace in his plans and peace in his hands, learn that he has absolute perfect timing, learn that days can only get better, it is good to reflect and obtain joy from the past, but know that there is no peak in life, days that glorify him can only get better, learn how to love others well even when they are hurting you, learn to overflow love and not pour out in a state of emptiness, learn to be free at all times, learn the gift of faith, and learned that my life can be full of constant joy because joy is Jesus and he is in control. He walked me through so much in a short period of time and I felt like an entirely new human being. I could feel this change and feel the true Desiree he created me to be. The season of Africa was extremely difficult, but I would not trade it for the world. I don’t know how likely it is I do it again but I am forever thankful the Lord walked me through that adventure.
The living conditions, ministry, environments, food, and situations that occurred in Africa were all incredibly hard but this was a true season of growth. With perfect timing, the Lord moved us 3 months later into Guatemala! It was something that was very needed by our team a change and a more comfortable environment. Right before leaving Africa, we learned that our team (we expected to be switched since they did last continent change) was actually remaining a team for the next three months here in Guatemala! This was news we were incredibly excited for because our team had grown so incredibly close. It didn’t feel like I was living on the race in uncomfortable situations but instead living with my best friends doing mission work together. We were so excited to see what this new season in Guatemala would bring us with a drastic change in our environment. Once we landed and found out our living conditions and life here in Guatemala, we were ecstatic! Real beds and not the floor, wifi, running water, and good southern cooking!
When we first entered this new country, we had a session where our leader questioned and challenged us with “what are things you need to release to the Lord. What are things that are hindering you growth for this next season?”
At first, I was able to make an incredibly long list full of many challenges I had faced in my life and felt very content that I would be able to be so free from these things. But after I took another look at the list, I realized that these things I had already released to God. I had already grown there. Not that you ever stop growing in certain areas, and most of those areas are NOT perfect, but they were things we already moved past and given to God.
So then I looked at my list again and thought “ I made it! I am a perfect Christian!”….. nope jk. I looked at the list and thought, why am I stagnant? Why is there nothing else I have to put on my list? Well, because in Africa we faced many things, and many things that grew me, but it was all unintentional growth. I of course wanted to grow, but the Lord did it on his own timing and his own plan. He threw the struggles in front of me and grew me without me even realizing I was growing! And that has been the majority of my race. Until now.
Well now the Lord is calling me to intentionally grow. I asked him why I had nothing new, and he said to ask him how else I can grow. To intentionally grow. To ask him in what I need him to work on in my life. To pursue growth and pursue walking towards him. He showed me that when I get home, it’ll be extremely easy to fall back into everyday life and forget that I need to grow. That every single day I still have to reach for his heart and walk closer and closer to him. I need to be intentionally growing, and that EVERYONE needs to be intentionally growing.
I recently gave a sermon about this at our PVT, encouraging parents and racers that growing doesn’t end. Even if you have settled down, have 5 kids, are retired, about to go to college, no matter what stage of life you are in, God is still calling us all to grow. For some it is easier than others, but growth is something to be intentionally pursuing every day and something as Christians we have to be sure is happening.
During a lot of time in Africa we would always do door to door evangelism. Often times we would run into pastors houses or people who seemed like very devout Christians. We would have devotionals with even our own pastors every night and each time in ministry they would ask us to speak, but inside I would think “this person already has it all together, I don’t think they can grow anymore.” WHAT! Done growing?! No! Just because I am young and they have it all together, they don’t actually have it together. Everyone is broken in their own ways and everyone has ways Christ wants to grow people and often times he precisely placed me there to help them in this growing while they also helped grow me. So no one is ever done growing, even if they seem like the most advanced people. No matter who it is, you are able to offer them something to learn from, but keep your eyes open because no matter who it is, they have stuff to also offer you.
So in these past few weeks the Lord has really struggled with me about growth and put in on my heart as something to strongly pursue. Focusing on intentionally growing and hearing his words and listening to his guidance! So in this time, I asked Christ to tear me apart, but, please be gentle. Heartbreak hurts, but I know I am your daughter and totally and completely you take care of me. You are gentle with your precious (our new team name btw) daughters.
Side note, thank you for reading, but also, things are getting serious and I really need to be fully funded ASAP. I have had a lot of time on the race to fundraise, and all of my supporters have been absolutely and amazingly generous to me and my cause. We have come such a long way, reached out to so many different people and communities, and grown the kingdom of God, however WE ARE NOT DONE! I have about 20 more days to raise the rest of the money I need. We are only about 600 away so that could be only $30 dollars a day. Please please consider donating, for the continuation of my trip, I truly and deeply need this last donations. If I am unable to come up with the money I will be sent home and not able to finish this mission so please, if you feel called, please donate. Thank you everyone for everything, it has meant an intense amount and so much has been accomplished, please continue the prayer and thoughts for these countries, my squad, my team, and I, we love you all thank you. Seriously.
