In July 2012 my wife and I embarked on an adventure that would change our lives forever. The World Race was, without a doubt, an incredible experience of a lifetime. I, like many people, wanted to see what God was up to in the big wide world and help Him change it in whatever ways He would allow me to participate. I soon found out that this 11 month Kingdom Journey to 11 countries was just as much about what my Abba, Papa, Father, Daddy, God, wanted to do in me as I wanted Him to do through me, if not more so. The Race was the pressure cooker and we were the meat that it would soon tenderize. God went on to teach us, in less than a year, what it takes some people 40 years to learn. Contrary to what may have become popular belief, the World Race didn’t fix my idiosyncrasies! God just used it to point to the pink elephants in the room and show me that they were there! I came to realize that I can’t think of it as some psychological game of hide and seek, “Oh hey! I found you! The game is over now!” I must instead see it as a game of tag and go catch them! They’re right out in the open! I bet you didn’t know how fast pink elephants could actually run though! So I finished The Race. Then learned about CGA at Project Searchlight, and I saw the potential to corner those suckers and slap them silly! I was tired of being “it”. I wanted to hide away with the Lord and become more like Him so that those pink elephants don’t even recognize me anymore and can’t find me.
God called me to this season in CGA for the purpose of: embracing the principles that He taught me on The Race and allowing them to make the 18-inch journey from my head down into my heart, and to be mentored as a couple by the Bill and Katie Swan. I can bear witness to the fact that God has been faithful to accomplish all of His plan half way. I take heart in this knowing that my 8-month stint in CGA is only about 50% complete 🙂 The passed 4 months in CGA have been about solidifying my identity, articulating my calling, trusting Him to provide for our every need, learning how to live expectantly, giving Him an excuse to do the miraculous in our day to day, saying only what we hear the Father say and doing only what we see the Father do, being more generous because He is even more generous, understanding more of His heart for me and for others (especially because I’m going to be a father soon), experiencing the miracle of new life (knowing that there’s a baby in my wife’s belly), loving my wife as Christ Jesus loves His bride The Church, learning how to lead, being a team player, submitting to leadership, rejecting pride and embracing humility, walking in and developing spiritual gifts, walking in confidence, speaking life instead of death over myself and others, declaring the things that are not as if they were, being sharpened as a worship leader, cultivating a lifestyle of worship, letting my “yes be yes” and my “no be no”, resting in Him, being with Abba and going to new heights and depths of intimacy with Him who has wooed me, pursued me, ravished my heart, affirmed, and reaffirmed who He is to me and who I am to Him.
There is something that God teaches through experience (the vehicle He uses to take us from faith to faith) and confirms with His Word that the word alone cannot produce. In 1 Corinthians 2:4-5 Paul puts it this way, “My message and my preaching were not with wise and persuasive words, but with a demonstration of the Spirit’s power, so that your faith might not rest on human wisdom, but on God’s power.” I knew walking into this season that I would be challenged in ways that were uncomfortable. But I was done, fed up, with my zoo of pink elephants. So I welcomed it. I was sold on the fact that it truly is Holy Spirit who is the game changer. So I stepped out in the measure of faith that I had and trusted that my Abba is good. He is faithful to complete whatever work He begins. This I know, because I am not the same man that I was 4-months ago. Abba, in His infinite wisdom, knew that I, as a young ox, needed to quit being stubborn and trying to do things my way. Did I really think I knew the way that Yaweh wanted His field plowed? This semester I had to be broken in and trained to do work with Jesus, who knows exactly how our Father wants things done. “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light” Matthew 11:28-30. I am His masterpiece, but I am still made of clay, and He alone ultimately knows Who and what I am supposed to look like; He will stop at nothing to glorify Himself in me.
Emotionally, I am walking in a greater understanding that my emotions are real, but they are not truth. “I will not be mastered by anything.” 1 Corinthians 6:12b. Spiritually I have learned about the incredible ministry of an exhorter/encourager. I can look at someone and see the Spiritual Gifting and DNA that God has placed in him or her. I am always sowing seed. The seed that I sow with my own hands affect people every day. I am responsible for my own actions, not yours. I cannot afford to live on other people’s spirituality! I must go get my own log, stir up my own fire, get my own oil, trim my own wick, and not expect someone else to do it for me, or that if they do these things, to think of it as if I did them. I am an unceasing worshiper, a continuous outpourer that is always pouring out to something or someone, may it always be God. Mentally I have experienced such freedom from negativity and the lies of the enemy, rooted in Romans 12:2 “being transformed by the renewing of my mind” and by claiming 1 Corinthians 2:16 “I have the mind of Christ.” Socially I have seen maturity in being a better listener. I am reminded of my responsibility to my wife and family, to put them first, and not feel obligated or pressured into compromising on that commitment. Thank you CGA staff for pushing me. I have learned that I get to choose the man that I want to be! Everyday is a new day, and I want to be the man that Heaven sees me as. “And the angel of the Lord appeared to him and said to him, “The Lord is with you, O valiant warrior” Judges 6:12. “Because you are sons, God has sent forth the Spirit of His Son into our hearts, crying, ‘Abba! Father!’ Therefore you are no longer a slave, but a son; and if a son, then an heir through God” Galatians 4:6-7.
THANK YOU FAMILY, FRIENDS, AND SUPPORTERS FOR INVESTING IN ME AND IN GOD’S KINGDOM!
