Ever notice how after a storm, as soon as the rain subsides and clouds part ways to usher in the sun, it’s almost as if the sun is shining for the first time ever? Because right now, in Bulgaria, I can’t remember a time the sun has shown in such a blinding, bright light than right now.
It’s raining this morning. For as long as I can remember, I’ve had a strange fascination with rain. Today in particular, every memory I’ve had involving the rain has begun swirling through my head as I look off my balcony unto the ivy-laden houses and pipe-tiled rooftops. I want to capture this moment and stay in it forever.
Everything is green.
Everything is calm.
And despite the gray color of the sky and the lifeless street below:
Everything is beautiful.
Fear of the storm was my first memory I had as a kid. The rain would pour and beat down on our little house. The thunder roared and all I could think of was that it would explode our house to smithereens at any second. Then there was the lightning which I had an unhealthy manner of believing it were always coming after me. Even from my young age, this fear was a hurdle my parents knew I had to get over.
I can now see the significance in what they did next.
The skies would turn dark. Day would turn to night. Birds chirping would turn to clouds barking wildly. The unseen would become visible and I could see the chaos in the skies above. Terrified little Derek would assume the worst as usual, until my parents grabbed ahold of me.
“Sit here and watch the storm.” My mom would tell me. This was not what I wanted to do by any means. I would rather stay in my room or be somewhere far away from where this dangerous madness was occurring.
“Sit here and watch the storm”
So there I was, sitting in our dining room, alongside my faithful terrier, Critter, as my confident accountability partner, braving this event with me. As I watched the lightning strike, heard the thunder crescendo from afar, and saw the rain continuously pound on our deck, I realized:
“These things CAN’T get to me.”
Slowly, the storm would dissipate, the electricity would come back on, and I would realize:
“I’m alive!”
That day, I learned I was bigger than the storm and not the other way around. The storm doesn’t control me, but I control it. Not that I can manipulate weather like Storm from X-Men or anything like that (although that would be so dope). But this storm cannot dictate the way I am to feel about my safety or my life. Instead, I can allow the storm to shape the way I will forever look at life in the future.
The storm can be used to bring fear into my life, or can be used to bring new gifts out of my life.
If I would have hid in my bedroom during the storms and never faced them head on, I would have never realized the awe, wonder, and beauty of the storm. It took sitting down and watching it to realize:
“This is not meant to frighten you. This is not meant to overwhelm you. This is not meant to destroy you.”
I had to face the storm, in order to find the joy in it.
The storm may bring destruction in its wake. But, they may also give birth to new things. The torrential downpour may have been incredibly vital to answer an endless drought we may have been facing.
Wow, let me stop there for a second. (Just re-read that sentence a few times and think about it)
Sometimes, in the midst of such dryness and lack of rain, nothing is growing. Everything is either dead or dying. Rain is everything. In comes the storm. Not an easy process. Downright dangerous and terrifying at times, but in the morning, new life rises.
It takes the moments of dryness in the valley to move into such a difficult trying time in the storm until, finally there is that moment of breakthrough.
`Some of my favorite memories have all taken place in the rain since then. Each time, the rain seemed to be a bully of sorts opposing our expeditions of fun. It was our enemy trying to prevent us from laughing and making memories. But God would always prove He had another plan.
He would continually show that there is beauty in the imperfect moments.
Like the time my neighbors (who were my best friends growing up and led me to Christ) were throwing a large party for all of our church friends but each time it rained, leading us to reschedule the party a few times. Finally, on the latest rescheduled date, everything was set and the party would begin any minute. Then the inevitable happened:
The downpour came.
Everyone showed up still. But we weren’t disappointed or defeated. Instead, we danced up a storm on that rainy day. Without going more into it, I’ll simply say it was the most amazing party I’ve ever been to, full of discovering actual GOOD Christian music for the first time thanks to my dude Matt Miller, mud sliding all over the property, and honestly, just being young and free like there was nothing to ever hold us back from living.
There have been trips to amusement parks that seemed all but lost thanks to the storms BUT those have turned out to be the most memorable. I mean, c’mon: no lines! However, I’ll admit, the rollercoasters felt like a million tiny needles sticking you all over (thanks to the rain), but it was amazing nonetheless. What could’ve been seen as a failed attempt for fun with my old church crew of friends, became one of the best days of my life.
Finally, regarding the World Race, there was that time in the Philippines when our team wanted to check out a beach we heard about, even though there was a rumor of a typhoon stirring up. We threw caution to the wind (assuming it was on the other side of the island), and went for it anyway! We rented out a large bus-like vehicle called a jeepney (which I miss so much). We stopped in a small village to grab some snacks and continued our adventure. Several of us decided to enjoy the nice weather & ride on the rooftop of this jeepney for the rest of the way:
That’s when the fun began.
For the next 45 minutes, in the darkness of the night, we were stuck on the rooftop of this jeepney, flying through the mountains of the Philippines, during a stage 2 typhoon! There was nothing else we could do but laugh at the sheer hilarity of the situation.
It was freezing.
It was painful.
It was freaking awesome.
We arrived at the beach, only to come to find, there was either an open-ended pavilion we could stay in for the night (what?!), or a tiny motel room for about 14 of us to stay in. Again, this could all be easily written off as a disaster but when you have friends with you who are all in the same boat, you begin to see the humor and the light in the situations.
The rain slightly began to subside around 11:00 p.m. and a few of us had decided to camp out in our tents on the beach! Keep in mind, this is still during a stage 2 typhoon (which would pick back up in the middle of the night). With my faithful Filipino brother Emil accompanying me in my tent (since he had never been camping before), we laughed and embraced our circumstances, affirming that this was going to be such a memorable trip.
While trying to get some rest, we couldn’t help but overhear loud music and way off-key singing coming from the reception area. Laura and Bryce came to our tent (they decided to camp as well), and invited us to investigate what was going on. This led to us singing karaoke with a handful of locals for the next hour or so!
NEVER, I had I EVER sang karaoke like that before that night.
We took turns swapping the mic with one another, eating some fried chicken and sea food the locals were chowing down on, and finally I sung the crap out of “Africa” by Toto (my go to song of course).
But these stories are all about literal storms ruining our momentary circumstances. There are those moments which God allows us to change our perspective, but then there are the OTHER STORMS that go down which we need to navigate safely.
Rain has poured on my life in its own way. I used to be afraid of the pain of getting caught in the rain or struck by lightning (metaphorically speaking).
Being bullied and struggling with depression was a long storm to navigate, but my Captain has navigated me safely to the harbor.
Having a long-term relationship end left me feeling numb and empty, but the Lighthouse on the hilltop brought my wayward sailing ship home.
Losing my first BIG job, dealing with the feelings of failure, consumed by fear to pursue anything new, left me feeling overwhelmed and helpless, until my Umbrella walked with me through the rain and gave me shelter.
Jesus has been with me every step of the way. He has taught me lessons along the way, even though I was too deaf to hear at the time.
It took being bullied and overcoming suicide to develop a heart of compassion and understanding for the youth who face the same struggles I had faced.
It took a failed relationship to learn how to establish a healthy basis for any type of friendship or romantic relationship in the future.
It took losing a job to pave the way for my heart for missions. If I never lost my job, I would not be on the World Race, or have encountered any of the countless people I’ve met overseas in the last 4 years.
The trip to the beach could easily be written off as a bust.
Our party back in high school could’ve left much to be desired.
Our trip to the amusement park could’ve left us feeling defeated with the money we wasted.
Who you’re with, can influence the outcome of your circumstances with ease. God gave us each other, I believe, to get the most out of life and live it the way He originally intended it to be lived.
We may believe the storms want to prevent us from enjoying life, but I think we need to learn to:
SIT
BE STILL
WATCH THE STORM
. Watch the storm so that you may later walk in it, run in it, experience it face to face, look at it right between the eyes and ask it:
“What do you got for me?”
Step out of the drought.
Walk into the storm.
